'unnatural for good things to come to those who wait' - UT AdMISSION

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

(BY THE WAY IM NOT A GOOD WRITER)
ANY AND ALL CRITCISM IS WANTED! THANKS!

It is unnatural for good things to come to those who wait because waiting can seem like an eternity. The quote" good things come to those who wait" has been used by many people as a way to give someone hopes, but in my opinion it's just another excuse for someone to be lazy. Why WAIT??! All things come to the people that make an effort to go get them! Many people may argue that the quote means patience but sometimes being to patient may cause opportunities to slip away. I don't believe good things come to those who wait just like I don't believe that anything is handed to you on a silver platter. If you want something done you have to get it done.

I could blame the reason i feel this way on my ethnicity or background and say that "Black people never had it easy, so we have to work twice as hard", But I am not. Although it may have somewhat of an influence, I based my reasoning off my dreams and who i am. I know for a fact that what I want in life, I won't achieve by just sitting around and waiting. Growing up I have learned that hard work pays off and in order to get things done you have to work for it. Planting a seed does not make it grow just like waiting around and wishing for something doesn't make it transpire. Martin Luther King , and Obama did not wait around for change. They made it happen.

Life is not a fairytale, its reality. There are no happy endings just accomplishments, no fairy godmothers just parents and teachers, and no waiting around just hard work. So if good things come to people who wait, then it is just left over things from those who hustled.

-I WANTED TO KEEP IT SHORT AND SIMPLE-

I like the basic premise of your essay but think you should expand it a bit to more fully answer the prompt. Adding an example from your personal life that illustrates your passion for this point of view would be great. There are a couple of typos to fix: 1) In sentence 2 the quote is misplaced before good. 2) In the fifth sentence "to patient" should be "too patient". 3) In the second paragraph, line 1, the "i" should be capitalized, the word "But" should be lower case and the last phrase would have better agreement with the rest of the sentence if it read "but I do not". You are definitely passionate about this philosophy...best of luck!

Thanks so much!!! I will definitely be making changes! Is the length okay though?

Firstly, every time i heard this sentence i think to a full pint of Guinness. Omitting this you're right,

What does this have to do with you? Relate it back to your life, community or whatever. A personal statement is for them to get to know you more and for them to know more than your grades, not just quotes.