UPENN Why essay grammar check; When I first started playing soccer I had no skills

When I first started playing soccer I had no skills whatsoever at first, and I solely relied on my superior speed to beat the opposition. Over time as I developed the skills needed to compliment (complement?) my speed at playing forward. But something was still missing. I lacked what some call a 'striker's instinct', or simply the ability to seize my opportunity to score. I realized that the reason for my lack of ability to seize my opportunities to score was because my lack of self confidence. Although it took time I'm now a much more confident player and is currently the leading scorer on my indoor soccer team.

Opportunity is defined as a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something. As a college bound student the one quintessential thing I want from the college I want to go is opportunity. I want the opportunity to follow my passion, the opportunity to not only shape my own future but help the world shapes its own, and the opportunity to succeed. The University of Pennsylvania can give me this opportunity.

Through UPENN's liberal arts education I would be able to diversify my mind to think at more than one angle. At the same time I would still be able to pursue my passion in the economics courses available at UPENN. The academic program is also flexible in that I can not only follow my passion but also pursue my interests in other areas. UPENN gives me the freedom to choose my own path and follow it. Since at UPENN you are able to take courses from other colleges within the University of Pennsylvania besides Wharton I would reap the benefits of the best whatever I choose to study.

Why do I want to go to UPENN? Opportunity. It is only at UPENN that I am surrounded by the opportunities that I need to succeed.

Over time, I developed the skills needed to compliment my speed while playing forward but something was still missing. (You said over time, as someting happened so i'm waiting for the following statement but there's none. Leaves me confused.)

Although it took time, I am now a much more confident player and the leading scorer on my indoor soccer team. (said now already. No need for currently.)

(Space between paragraphs since you are not indenting them)
Opportunity is defined as ...
As a college bound student, the one (i feel like quintessential beside one repeats itself) thing I want is opportunity.
I want the opportunity to not only shape my ...(once you say opportunity to, you can do the list... opportunity to do this, that, those. It's better than saying the opportunity to do this, the opportunity to do that etc.)

Through (I see the website say they are known as 'Penn' so you can just say Penn) Penn's liberal arts education I would be able to stimulate (stimulate better says it) my mind to see things from more than one angle.

Since I would be able to take courses from other schools within Penn, I would reap the benefits of the best in whatever I choose to study. (You need to mention Wharton but its awkward to mention it like that because when you say other, the need to know other than what. So this is why you have to mention Wharton from before that. Hope you get me)

I know that at Penn I would be (would be not am since you don't attend Penn... yet) surrounded by the opportunities that I need to succeed.

(dont say only you sound hopeless if you dont get in and they might look down on that like. So what if we dont accept you? You wont succeed? We dont want people like that. Lol Or something like that. I think just take out only and say at Penn.

You repeat yourself a lot. Be careful with that. Like superior and beat and started playing at first. Wonderful Essay just grammatical errors. Hope this helps and I hope you get what you want and all the best. Deadline is fast approaching so work diligently and quickly. Good Luck Mate!!!

When I first started playing soccer I had no skills whatsoever. I solely relied on my superior speed to beat the opposition.

Although it took time, I'm now a much more confident player and am currently the leading scorer on my indoor soccer team.

Opportunity is defined as a set of circumstances that makes it possible to do something. As a college bound student the one quintessential thing I want from the college I want to attend is opportunity.

Through UPENN's liberal arts education I would be able to diversify my mind to think from more than one angle.

At the same time I would still be able to pursue my passion for economics in the courses available at UPENN.

Good luck!!

:)