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UPenn Supplement Essay- Pakistan Society and One Health at Penn



zain12qa 4 / 9  
Dec 24, 2009   #1
Benjamin Franklin established the Union Fire Company, the Library Company of Philadelphia, the American Philosophical Society, Pennsylvania Hospital, and, of course, the charity school that evolved into the University of Pennsylvania. As they served the larger community of Philadelphia, each institution in turn formed its own community.

Which of the academic communities and social communities that now comprise the University of Pennsylvania are most interesting to you and how will you contribute to them and to the larger Penn community?


The University of Pennsylvania Pakistan Society is most interesting to me because it allows me to get a cultural feeling at college that will mimic the one I am used to at home. It will be exciting to teach others cultural traditions from the country of my birth. This will not only help me maintain a connection to life in Pakistan, but it will also allow me to educate people at the University about Pakistani culture, politics, and values. With Pakistan developing a closer relationship with the United States, it is becoming increasingly important to inform the people here about Pakistan.

In my school's Students of South Asian Society, I organized movie showings, performances, buffets, and information sessions and was able to diversify the culture at Markville Secondary School. I also helped introduce new immigrants from South Asia to life in Canada. I was able to understand them and make them feel comfortable in the new country. With my involvement in the club I made many friends and met many new people. Penn's Pakistan Society will allow me to continue helping students who have recently come from South Asia.

The One Health is an academic community I am interested in because I understand the importance of the "consilience of human, domestic animal, and wildlife health." Having lived in Markham, Canada I have observed different ways of trying to leave a smaller environmental footprint. Small things such as composting, recycling, and using electricity more efficiently can help accomplish this goal. The community at Markham has taken the initiative to establish a green bin that would be collected along with the regular garbage and recycling. This greatly reduced the size of landfills since the green bin consists of biodegradable compost which would be better for the environment. Also, living in a Middle Eastern nation, United Arab Emirates, I understand the importance of preserving water. Using my knowledge from living in many different areas I will be able to help the One Health organization develop new ways to live in more sustainable ways. This knowledge will help the community at Penn understand the need for caring for life on earth. With swine flu, and the recent viruses attained from animals, such as monkey pox and mad cow disease, people value the fine relationship between human and wild life health more than ever. There are recent demonstrations in Copenhagen, Denmark, where people who live environmentally friendly want the rest of the world to join in their mission. I want to utilize One Health to contribute to the positive environmental movement that has been established at The University of Pennsylvania.

unclesamv 2 / 4  
Dec 26, 2009   #2
Good essay overall...but I feel like your 2nd paragraph is lost.

IE:With my involvement in the club I made many friends and met many new people. Penn's Pakistan Society will allow me to continue helping students who have recently come from South Asia.

The 2 sentences don't relate so you do not reach any conclusion. If you'd like to say that, combine paragraph 1 and 2.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Dec 26, 2009   #3
Use a comma to separate the 2 halves of a compound sentence:
The University of Pennsylvania Pakistan Society is most interesting to me, because...

This paragraph is excellent!! ----> In my school's Students of South Asian Society, I organized movie showings, performances, buffets, and ...

are Recent demonstrations in Copenhagen, Denmark, were performed by people who live environmentally friendly and want the...

Nice job. You express yourself very well!!


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