Can anyone please edit this and leave some feedback to this essay?
Thank you very much
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Answer the essay question: (do not exceed one page.)
3. Benjamin Franklin established the Union Fire Company, the Library Company of Philadelphia, the American Philosophical Society, Pennsylvania Hospital, and, of course, the charity school that evolved into the University of Pennsylvania. As they served the larger community of Philadelphia, each institution in turn formed its own community.
Which of the academic communities and social communities that now comprise the University of Pennsylvania are most interesting to you and how will you contribute to them and to the larger Penn community?
(I apologize for the lack of indentation... I somehow can't indent here)
"A frog in a well knows nothing of the great ocean." Growing up as a Korean descendant, I have heard this ancient aphorism almost a thousand times. Well, only a few years ago, I was an adamant tadpole in a well. At first, I didn't see any reason to climb out of the well. After catching a short glimpse of the bigger world when I immigrated to America, I worked hard and providently in my high school classes. However, I felt as though I was running a marathon on a treadmill. All this work to go to college just because my parents think it was an excellent idea or because I could later earn a six digit figure salary seemed meaningless, vain, and a complete waste. Now, I am now dying to climb up the well to go out into the ocean. I have grown into a frog by coming to know who I really am through God and what my purpose is through my interest. Realizing these, the academic and social aspects of University of Pennsylvania are perfect in preparing and teaching me how to flourish in the great and thrilling waves of the vast ocean waiting for me.
First and foremost, I am a Christian. Because I have found my identity and worth in God, a life without God would become meaningless. During my college life, I want to mature more in faith and in character. I believe that Penn Students for Christ would be the terrific group where my personal relationship with God can deepen. Penn Students for Christ focuses on the fellowship of the Christian brotherhood, prayer, and Bible study. Through reading the Bible, I can gain insights and guidance as fellow Penn students offer their thoughts and revelations. In weekday prayer meetings and discussion times, we as brothers and sisters in Christ can share our inmost thoughts and struggles, advising and encouraging one another. Hearing speakers especially Penn professors like Dr. Ray Townsend can greatly inspire and show me to live as a true follower of Christ. Moreover, like an overflowing cup of water, I desire to share my testimony to other classmates about God and His great mercy that changed me forever, so that their lives may be impacted and be transformed. Penn Students for Christ also opens up doors for me to utilize my talents or time to serve God and others. For instance, my experience as a youth group praise leader at my church could be of a help to their praise team. In addition, I would like to take the unctuous members of PSC to the North Philadelphia Inner City Missions where I volunteered this summer, so we could share our love to the surrounding communities of UPenn.
Since childhood, I was very curious about the human nature and behaviors. I have always loved to observe and analyze people and their behaviors, trying to find the reasons or the causes behind certain behaviors. When I first came to America, I could only watch and learn from others because I couldn't speak any English. During that period of time of pure observance, my interest of analyzing others' behaviors greatly increased. This interest led me to read hundreds of articles related to psychology. Few years ago, I became fascinated by the belief widely known in Japan and in few other Asian countries that blood types influence individual's personality. Soon afterwards, I found myself bugging everyone around me asking for their blood types. Then, I would relate their personalities according to their blood types. Although I really enjoyed analyzing others to the point of obsession for some time, it never dawned to me before that I could use this curiosity and inquisition as an instrument to do something meaningful, helping others and serving God. Since then, my purpose has been to heal the sick by connecting deep into their soul. Therefore, I want to learn more about psychology. As the first school in the world to organize clinical psychology as a separate field, University of Pennsylvania with its rich history in psychology would definitely make lucid to me the obscure and abstract world of the human psyche. I also believe that being involved in the Undergraduate Psychology Society (UPS) would be a great way for me to discuss the current issues and ideas in psychology and enrich myself by listening to what my fellow students have in mind. Also, UPenn's Clinical Training Program, one of the highest regarded curriculums in America, would allow me acquire a precious set of skills that enables me to pinpoint the mental state of others, opening up a way for me to help people to live fulfilling lives.
I once was a tadpole, just wanting to stay in the well forever. Now as a purpose driven frog, I wish to face the opposing waves of the sea. University of Pennsylvania caught my attention as the school that not only allows me to preserve my identity, which defines and sustains me, but also teaches me to diagnose the soul of men as well. As a Christian who wants to heal the sick, I strongly believe that University of Pennsylvania is the perfect place where my purpose, interests, and individuality are respected, developed, and integrated as one. When I graduate from UPenn, I would be the frog that knows and even journeys into the great ocean.
Thank you very much
______________________________________________________________
Answer the essay question: (do not exceed one page.)
3. Benjamin Franklin established the Union Fire Company, the Library Company of Philadelphia, the American Philosophical Society, Pennsylvania Hospital, and, of course, the charity school that evolved into the University of Pennsylvania. As they served the larger community of Philadelphia, each institution in turn formed its own community.
Which of the academic communities and social communities that now comprise the University of Pennsylvania are most interesting to you and how will you contribute to them and to the larger Penn community?
(I apologize for the lack of indentation... I somehow can't indent here)
"A frog in a well knows nothing of the great ocean." Growing up as a Korean descendant, I have heard this ancient aphorism almost a thousand times. Well, only a few years ago, I was an adamant tadpole in a well. At first, I didn't see any reason to climb out of the well. After catching a short glimpse of the bigger world when I immigrated to America, I worked hard and providently in my high school classes. However, I felt as though I was running a marathon on a treadmill. All this work to go to college just because my parents think it was an excellent idea or because I could later earn a six digit figure salary seemed meaningless, vain, and a complete waste. Now, I am now dying to climb up the well to go out into the ocean. I have grown into a frog by coming to know who I really am through God and what my purpose is through my interest. Realizing these, the academic and social aspects of University of Pennsylvania are perfect in preparing and teaching me how to flourish in the great and thrilling waves of the vast ocean waiting for me.
First and foremost, I am a Christian. Because I have found my identity and worth in God, a life without God would become meaningless. During my college life, I want to mature more in faith and in character. I believe that Penn Students for Christ would be the terrific group where my personal relationship with God can deepen. Penn Students for Christ focuses on the fellowship of the Christian brotherhood, prayer, and Bible study. Through reading the Bible, I can gain insights and guidance as fellow Penn students offer their thoughts and revelations. In weekday prayer meetings and discussion times, we as brothers and sisters in Christ can share our inmost thoughts and struggles, advising and encouraging one another. Hearing speakers especially Penn professors like Dr. Ray Townsend can greatly inspire and show me to live as a true follower of Christ. Moreover, like an overflowing cup of water, I desire to share my testimony to other classmates about God and His great mercy that changed me forever, so that their lives may be impacted and be transformed. Penn Students for Christ also opens up doors for me to utilize my talents or time to serve God and others. For instance, my experience as a youth group praise leader at my church could be of a help to their praise team. In addition, I would like to take the unctuous members of PSC to the North Philadelphia Inner City Missions where I volunteered this summer, so we could share our love to the surrounding communities of UPenn.
Since childhood, I was very curious about the human nature and behaviors. I have always loved to observe and analyze people and their behaviors, trying to find the reasons or the causes behind certain behaviors. When I first came to America, I could only watch and learn from others because I couldn't speak any English. During that period of time of pure observance, my interest of analyzing others' behaviors greatly increased. This interest led me to read hundreds of articles related to psychology. Few years ago, I became fascinated by the belief widely known in Japan and in few other Asian countries that blood types influence individual's personality. Soon afterwards, I found myself bugging everyone around me asking for their blood types. Then, I would relate their personalities according to their blood types. Although I really enjoyed analyzing others to the point of obsession for some time, it never dawned to me before that I could use this curiosity and inquisition as an instrument to do something meaningful, helping others and serving God. Since then, my purpose has been to heal the sick by connecting deep into their soul. Therefore, I want to learn more about psychology. As the first school in the world to organize clinical psychology as a separate field, University of Pennsylvania with its rich history in psychology would definitely make lucid to me the obscure and abstract world of the human psyche. I also believe that being involved in the Undergraduate Psychology Society (UPS) would be a great way for me to discuss the current issues and ideas in psychology and enrich myself by listening to what my fellow students have in mind. Also, UPenn's Clinical Training Program, one of the highest regarded curriculums in America, would allow me acquire a precious set of skills that enables me to pinpoint the mental state of others, opening up a way for me to help people to live fulfilling lives.
I once was a tadpole, just wanting to stay in the well forever. Now as a purpose driven frog, I wish to face the opposing waves of the sea. University of Pennsylvania caught my attention as the school that not only allows me to preserve my identity, which defines and sustains me, but also teaches me to diagnose the soul of men as well. As a Christian who wants to heal the sick, I strongly believe that University of Pennsylvania is the perfect place where my purpose, interests, and individuality are respected, developed, and integrated as one. When I graduate from UPenn, I would be the frog that knows and even journeys into the great ocean.