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uRochester "Ever Better"



laspinadenise 2 / 10  
Dec 23, 2011   #1
Meliora: 'Ever better' - The University's motto, Meliora, directs our focus toward continual improvement through research, understanding, and collaborative efforts. Offer an example from your personal experience of an obstacle you faced or a problem you identified. Describe the actions you took and the result. (125 words)

My junior year, I would make a list after every basketball game. I would write down everything I thought I needed to work on. I would forget that I was playing on a team and that I didn't need to do everything. Doing everything would exhaust me, cause my teammates to think they could relax, frustrate me because they were relaxing, and exhaust me further to make up for their shortcomings. I had to step back, assess the situation, reflect on it, and finally relax before we, as a team, could improve. I made a new list, "Breathe". This year, there is a tremendous amount of improvement, we are better, because we now understand collaboration, communication, and unity.

Is this good? Decent enough?

22kcox 5 / 22  
Dec 23, 2011   #2
I think I would combine the first two sentences like so " My junior year, after every basketball game, I would make a list of everything I needed to work on."

you might want to be a bit more specific instead of saying just "everything" maybe be like "free throws, passing," etc.

otherwise great!
OP laspinadenise 2 / 10  
Dec 24, 2011   #3
err, sent it in already but i, uh, couldn't be more specific. 125 word limit :(


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