USC undergraduate admissions - business, with a focus on finance and entrepreneurship

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections (250 word limit).

My intended field of study at USC is business, with a focus on finance and entrepreneurship. I believe a curriculum in finance and entrepreneurship ample prepares an individual to be successful in any field of business. My interest in business developed at a young age and I haven't stopped questioning, learning, and researching business related topics since. I am eager to attend the Marshall School of Business because of its global mindset, innovative curriculum, and strong alumni network. These characteristics distinguish Marshall from other universities and prepare students for life after USC. I look forward to taking classes such as Advanced Practicum in Investment Management (FBE453a/b) and Venture Management (BAEP 453), as I believe these classes will provide me with invaluable hands-on experience in wealth management and entrepreneurship, while also improving my ability to work with others in a team. In addition, I want to explore my academic interests outside of the classroom by joining student organizations such as Marshall Business Student Government, Marshall Youth Outreach, and Entrepreneurship & Venture Capital Association (EVCA). These organizations will enable me to learn about my intended fields of study in a new manner while plugging me into the local USC community. I believe USC will cultivate my passion for business and direct it in a way that will make me a better student, leader, and member of my community.

Hi chaddono happy to read your writing.
I have some suggestion for you.


Comment
*using conjuntion to make readers enjoy reading your writing.


Comment.
*after to + Verb infinite.
*conjuction while form; Subject Verb, while Subject Verb. Or While SV,SV.

Hope helpful.

Thank you so much @nsahmad! I will check out your essays!

Chad, I spotted some very minor edits that should be applied to your essay. Mostly it has to do with your using the acronyms of the subjects and organizations at the university. There really is no need for that since the university reviewer knows what classes you are mentioning and their shortcut names. You could have used those extra word counts to better explain your essay response instead. So, you can further add to the content of the essay once you change the following:

I believe a curriculum in finance and entrepreneurship ample amply prepares an individual to be successful in any field of business.

These characteristics distinguish Marshall from other universities and prepare students for life after USC.

I look forward to taking classes such as Advanced Practicum in Investment Management (FBE453a/b) and Venture Management (BAEP 453) ,

In addition, I want to explore my academic interests outside of the classroom by joining student organizations such as Marshall Business Student Government, Marshall Youth Outreach, and Entrepreneurship & Venture Capital Association (EVCA) .

You don't necessarily have to use the freed up word count for additional information your essay if you do not feel it is necessary to do so. The strikeouts are just meant to make your essay easier to read and make it shorter so that the reviewer can concentrate on your response in a better manner.

Chad, I'd like to share my insights in your essay.

- I believe a curriculum in finance and entrepreneurship amplewill prepares an
- individual to be successful in any field of business field .
- as I believe these classes will provide me with invaluable hands-on experience
- while also improving my ability to work with others in a team.
- In addition to this , I want to explore
- These organizations will enable me to learnstudy onabout my intended

There you have it Chad, a few minor corrections on your essay that will hopefully enhance your essay.
For future reference, work on your word choices, phrases and linking verbs, they affect the overall idea of your essay
so you have to take it with full consideration as you do on your grammar.