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"How you would use the education you obtain at our institution ?" (250)

nandasharma 14 / 53 9  
Jan 6, 2017   #1
Discuss a significant issue in your home country about which you are passionate and describe how you would use the education you obtain at our institution to create positive civic and social change once you return home. Please provide specific examples.

my plans and aims for the future

Though a landlocked nation, Nepal possesses a vast hydropower potential-the perennial Nepalese rivers and the gradient landscape provide ideal settings for the development of some of the world's largest hydroelectric powerplants. As per the recent statistics, Nepal has approximately forty-thousand megawatts of economically achievable hydropower potentiality. Thanks to frequent political dilemmas and the government's sloppiness in exploitation of National treasury, meager six-hundred megawatts of hydropower is hardly generated. The bitter reality is that only about 40% of Nepalese have access to electricity. With such miserable scenarios, it is significant for Nepal to upturn its energy reliance on renewable resources.

After an epoch of miscellaneous scientific and extracurricular explorations at XXX, I'm looking forward to investments of my XXX engineering expertise-achieved via the Dual-Degree program-for productive operation of hydroelectricity projects at regional/national level. I'll abide by the fundamentals of Environmental preservation and sustainability- as I've planned to minor in Environmental Science- while contributing towards the urbanization of national hydropower generators. With the academic benediction from some of the world's finest physicists and environmental scientists like MR.ABC and ROXY, I'll have the upper hand in my objective of launching eco-friendly solar and wind-power enterprises at a national platform. These feasible undertakings will radically improve Nepal's infrastructural integrity by making electricity accessible in isolated territories, which will be followed by the availability of modern electrical appliances to the ignorant population. Conclusively, my aim will also be to deescalate the national illiteracy by launching an educational web-portal: something like Khan Academy.

Holt [Contributor] - / 9,002 2708  
Jan 6, 2017   #2
Nanda, I realize that the Khan Academy is most likely how you learned a number of things throughout your academic life. However, you seem to be constantly mentioning it in every essay that you write. Isn't it possible for you to develop a different way of helping your country other than the reference to a similarity to the Khan Academy? I apologize if you feel insulted. I do not mean to do that. It is just that in most of the essays you have written, which I hope are for various universities, this online academy is constantly being mentioned, which could lead to reader boredom for the reviewer. If you constantly say the same things in all your prompts, such as the reference to Khan, then the redundancy tends to get on the reviewers nerves and will serve to irritate, rather than impress him. It will irritate him because it would seem like you are not capable of developing another answer other than one that will always lead you back to Khan. That shows a limitation in terms of thought development on your part. I thought I would just point that out. Again, I do not mean to offend, just point out something that you may have overlooked.
OP nandasharma 14 / 53 9  
Jan 7, 2017   #3
The previous essays where I referred to Khan Academy were each for different colleges. No offence taken, but I understand your concern about the redundancy of Khan. For your information, I've only used that word for a single essay of a single college. How is my article overall, Holt? You just commented about Khan, is that all ? :D
Holt [Contributor] - / 9,002 2708  
Jan 7, 2017   #4
Hi Nanda, I believe that it would be best for you to indicate at the start of your post that the information contained in your essay will be for a different university. By letting us know that information beforehand, it removes the sense of redundancy and doubt from our minds as we review your essay. That is the only way we can know that the information is still applicable to the new prompt and will also help us to create a better review that will be directed specifically for the new university. You don't have to give the university name if you don't want to. Just let us know that it is a new university. Yes, aside from the Khan Academy thing, I don't find anything wrong with your essay in terms of content, format or grammar. Everything is applicable and shows your command of the English language.While some sentences can use improvement, I don't believe that your current way of stating things should be changed so that your feelings and thought process will remain obvious to the reviewer.

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