UVA essay- 250 word limit- a small engineering project to help a friend or family member.

For many years my family and I would drive to Richmond, Virginia to visit with relatives, including my great-grandmother. Through those seventeen years, I watched my great-grandmother struggle with everyday activities and found myself wondering: What can I do to help? One problem, in particular, was getting in and out of a vehicle. It was always an inconvenience for her to stand up out of her wheelchair and try to force herself into the passenger seat.

My engineering project is to create an extension from the car that would allow a person in a wheelchair to slide into the car seat instead of struggling to stand up and try to lower themselves into the seat. It would be a small board made of (MATERIAL) and attached to the side of the seat. It hinges beside the seat and can be lifted and locked into place when ready for use. To use it you would simply lift the board and lock it into place, then remove or fold the arm on the wheelchair (which is already a function on most wheelchairs), and position the wheelchair next to the board.

This idea is fairly simple and relatively cheap, but could help many people. Anyone in a wheelchair could benefit as well as those who assist them. They wouldn't have to worry about injuring themselves or the person in the wheelchair by trying to pick them up.

@mbyram
Pretty creative and pragmatic idea!
I guess you may spend more effort on elaborating your idea. I believe it is clear enough, but it spends me a couple of minutes to picture it. You may want to use accurate preps and some metophor to let readers understand. "As if a parallel conveyer that can come out of the car, pick up the elders and convey them in the seat. " You may come up with some better ideas. Still, I believe your expression is clear enough, but could be better.

Hope it will help.

Matt, this is a very interesting project to present as a potential final year project for your major. At 234 words, it is just the right length to keep the reviewer interested in your project presentation. However, I believe that it can be made better if you create a clear explanation as to the struggle that your family currently has in terms of getting your great grandmother into the car from the wheelchair. As with any project presentation, an explanation of the problem is always necessary. While you do explain that it is difficult for your great grandmother to get out of the wheelchair and into the car, you fail to explain the kind of process that is involved in relation to helping her get into the vehicle. Based upon the explanation of how you get her into the car, your explanation about the need for the assisted device and the process by which it works will make more sense to the reviewer. In that presentation, you will be able to show the reviewer the relationship between the manual and automated process which in turn, gives your device idea a clear sense of logic and usability.