Hi. I'm applying to several Ivy League and Top-tier schools. Is this essay on point and good? How can I improve it?
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
After graduating from high school, I sought to give back to the community that had given so much to me. The one thing I had in my possession is knowledge. So I requested for and was duly granted a volunteer teaching job at a newly formed girls' high school which had inadequate teachers.
I found out that many students had been disillusioned by the sciences claiming that they were 'too challenging' due to an array of reasons, causing many of them to give up on their dreams of careers in the field of science.
Their previous teachers moved through topics quite fast but the students did not speak out when they did not understand. So, I taught at an appropriate pace, encouraged communication and formed study groups where they reinforced what they had learnt. I also increased practical classes to make the lessons enjoyable and memorable.
Quenching their thirsty minds and helping them find the intellectual curiosity- which for a while they thought they had lost - was very satisfying indeed.
995 characters
I would also appreciate it if you could comment on my other essay here.
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).
After graduating from high school, I sought to give back to the community that had given so much to me. The one thing I had in my possession is knowledge. So I requested for and was duly granted a volunteer teaching job at a newly formed girls' high school which had inadequate teachers.
I found out that many students had been disillusioned by the sciences claiming that they were 'too challenging' due to an array of reasons, causing many of them to give up on their dreams of careers in the field of science.
Their previous teachers moved through topics quite fast but the students did not speak out when they did not understand. So, I taught at an appropriate pace, encouraged communication and formed study groups where they reinforced what they had learnt. I also increased practical classes to make the lessons enjoyable and memorable.
Quenching their thirsty minds and helping them find the intellectual curiosity- which for a while they thought they had lost - was very satisfying indeed.
995 characters
I would also appreciate it if you could comment on my other essay here.
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