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"Volunteer work was a gratifying experience" - General Prompt for UC essay



211039vv 1 / -  
Nov 14, 2010   #1
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are? (General prompt)

When I entered high school, I did not have the slightest idea what I wanted to do as a career. Majority of my peers already had an incentive to what they wanted to be when they grow up. As for me, I had no conception. Oddly enough, this notion completely changed when I began to volunteer at my elementary school.

Throughout high school, my parents continuously encouraged me to do volunteer work so I can complete my required amount of service hours. My friend and I decided to work at our elementary school-St. Clement, which was right next to our high school, which was convenient for us to walk to right after school. Thinking the duties would consist of tedious work where I would be sorting out papers-I was absolutely wrong. I was assisting the other staff members with serving snacks for the students, as well as even helping the students with their homework. I even had the opportunity to play and interact with the children, and develop a friendly relationship with them. Whenever my day was not going too well at my own school, the kids and staff at St. Clement always had a way of making me sanguine again.

Although it may seem like ordinary volunteer tasks to be handing out snacks, aiding the staff members, and accommodating the students with their school work-to me it was something that I enjoyed doing and found it to be my leisure time after school. A couple of students find volunteering to be a way to get your service hours completed, but for me, I disregarded the fact that I worked at St. Clement to get my service hours finalized. Instead, I thought of it as a way to give back to my old elementary school. I attended St. Clement, and I was gratified to lend any assistance to that school.

Through this rewarding experience, I not only gained a large sum of service hours, but I also was competent to render a connection with the staff and students. I could always go back to them for additional support or advice. Interacting with them enhanced my communication skills and I felt more optimistic. I was even recompensed with a certificate that awarded my achievement in service hours. Despite all of this, I noticed how much I enjoyed interfacing with children, helping them with homework, treating their injuries, and how easy it is for me to put smiles on their faces. This kept registering in my head, which led me to think about my future and career. From this, I learned that I want to become a pediatrician, a field where I can aid children and concern their health. It's something that I would enjoy doing since I find pleasure in helping others and developing new skills.

Through volunteer work, I had no idea it would give me such a gratifying experience as well as my own inducement of what I wanted to do as a career in the future.

Zoopal93 1 / 3  
Nov 14, 2010   #2
I like how you took a negative and turned it around to a complete positive
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Nov 24, 2010   #3
The word majority should be preceded by an article:
The majority of my peers already had an incentive to what they wanted to be when they grow up ideas about what professional fields they wanted to choose.

This is very well written! I found one more part that I do not like, though, right here:
...to me it was something that I enjoyed doing and found it to be my leisure time after school (you should say something more meaningful! Use this sentence to explain what you liked about it or why it was important to you).

And here at the end... Through volunteer work, I had no idea it would give me such a gratifying experience as well as my own inducement of what I wanted to do as a career in the future. ...you can leave the reader with any idea you want to express... so, do you really want to end the essay with a sentence that repeats the fact that you had no idea this experience would be so gratifying, etc? Think of one last message you want to send the reader before the essay is over. What is the message you want them to be thinking about when they finish reading?

:-)


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