Volunteering at the Library-Common Apps Extracurricular

This is my essay for common apps, I know I am a horrible writer but o'well. For some reason, this essay sound kind of weird, can anyone please point out my error?

Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

Volunteering at the library is one of the simplest forms of volunteering available. Shelving books and checking books out pales in comparison with volunteering at the hospital or maybe the fire station. However, I have learned much from it. After several months of volunteering, my disorganized tendency was replaced by an inclination to be organized. As a result, my room is now the neatest it has been in 16 years, and my school binder looks like a catalog. From volunteering there, I have discovered much. Moby Dick became my friend; the Count of Monte Cristo taught me motives. Hamlet might as well be written in today's English, and Beowulf became the near past. I learned how to build a computer and realized why 1984 will never be 1984 (the book). Even if given the chance for a better activity, I would never relinquish this chance to learn and grow.

Thanks ;)

Oh My God ! I love it, I think it's really fresh and has personality, I had that same experience that's why I can identify myself with your answer!

Keep up the good work :)

P.S: Please If you get a chance check my essays and short answers for my college apps

Sure, I will be glad to and thx for the reply

No flaws from what I can see and I need to try and write one this good now!
Good stuff.

The first few sentences are not that good. They work against you and you should be making it work for you. Don't demean your extracurricular.

This part is unclear to me.


I think I understand what Jeffery means, but actually it is not necessarily true. It is not demeaning, and referring to the simplicity was an important part of this distinct description. However there DEFINITELY is wisdom in what Jeffery said. In general, I agree, but in this case I really like your presentation.

However, Jeffery's idea made me reconsider, and I am thinking it might be possible to use an intro that is even better. You can still keep the same idea while beginning this essay with the most intriguing sentence you know! (ha ha, unless the most intriguing sentence you know is inappropriate!). I also want to mention that this essay shows a really high level of writing.