wanted to be successful - Why Swarthmore? No word limit.

Why Swarthmore?
Please write a brief statement telling us why you have decided to apply to Swarthmore in particular.

A young man wanted to be successful, so he went to a guru for advice. He told the guru, "I want to be on the same level you are." So the guru says "If you want to be on my level, meet me at the beach tomorrow morning."

The young man gets there at 4 AM, ready for whatever the guru has in store for him. The old man grabs his hand, looks into his eyes and says "How bad do you want to be successful?"

"Real bad."
"Walk into the water."
The young man goes in waist deep, but the guru doesn't stop him. Man this guru is crazy.
"I want to be successful; I don't want to swim."
"Come out a little further."
"But I'm going to drown."
"I thought you said you wanted to be successful?"
"I do."
He came and dropped his head, the guru held him down. Digging and scratching at the guru, his head was submerged under the water. Just before the young man passed out, he raised him up.

"When you want to succeed as bad as you need to breathe, then you will be successful. You don't care about anything-you just want air. Nothing matters when you're fighting to survive. When you get to the point where success matters to you as much as the air in your lungs, only then will you be successful."

Swarthmore is my air and I need to breathe. I will have the opportunity to make my dream come true. My drive is something unsurpassed, and studying at Swarthmore will provide me with the means to succeed. But anyone can say that. I can finally be the guy everyone sees active in the community and in school, NEVER seen doing nothing.

Nice starting story, but it's too long; The essay seems more focused on that. I really think you should elaborate more on why Swarthmore is for you. Do some more research on it and find out what you really want out of it. Someone could easily say this for any college, so you need to be more specific. What does it have that not many other colleges have that could really benefit you?

I watched that video btw.

You shouldn't write out the entire beginning of the story. A short summary will be just as valuable!

hahahahahaha yeah i was like HMMM is this plagarism... LOL i was thinking of just going with the quote.

When you want to succeed as bad as you need to breathe, then you will be successful. You don't care about anything-you just want air. Nothing matters when you're fighting to survive. When you get to the point where success matters to you as much as the air in your lungs, only then will you be successful.

Swarthmore is my air and I need to breathe. I will have the opportunity to make my dream come true. My drive is something unsurpassed, and studying at Swarthmore will provide me with the means to succeed. But anyone can say that. I can finally be the guy everyone sees active in the community and in school, NEVER seen doing nothing.

While I know what my interests are, Swarthmore can provide me with more in-depth knowledge about my pursuit in the medical field. There are numerous opportunities of outreach in the community to teach children about polymers or chemical bonding only further consecrating and molding my knowledge. Only the finest technology is harbored in the science department, with state of the art equipment I can research anything from radioactive isotopes to the effects of preservatives on microorganisms. Regardless, Swarthmore's medical acceptance rate is relatively high suggesting to me that the curriculum really puts an emphasis on making sure students that go into medical school are absolutely sure about their career. But I'm absolutely sure I belong to Swarthmore.

Give me the chance to breath.

try to narrow it down