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Waterloo Engineering and AFM AIF - Accounting and Financial Management

WaterCivEngAFM 1 / 1  
Jan 14, 2020   #1

waterloo - the admission essay

Hi everyone! I'm about to send my admission information form for the Waterloo Accounting and Financial Management and Civil Engineering Programs. Im just wondering if anyone would be able to read over my essay for any problems or things I can do better. Thanks!

Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program please discuss your interest in each program.

The Greek Philosopher Plato once said ┬┐Numbers are the highest degree of knowledge. It is knowledge itself.┬┐ While my friends would always watch the highlights of a NBA game, I on the other hand would instantly pull up the stats and analyze the numbers in the game. Numbers have always been an interest in my life and combining it with science or business at a great school is a dream come true.

I would also like to learn a skill that interests me that can also help the general public whether it be helping people navigate the financial world as a CPA or building affordable housing to people in need.

At Waterloo, I will be able to earn a degree taught by world-renowned faculty surrounded by some of the world's brightest students. With this schools unbelievable co-op program and incredible learning environment, Waterloo can truly unleash my potential and point me on the road to success.

1 at a time
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,686 4759  
Jan 14, 2020   #2
The essay will tell the reviewer that you have not familiarized yourself with the course curriculum for your chosen course, which will negatively impact your application. You have not given any thought as to how your interest in your chosen major actually developed in your life and how you hope this interest will be useful once you become a professional armed with this degree. There are no solid educational goals presented. Your reasons for choosing the program are flimsy, and your reason for applying to Waterloo are not based on fact or data in relation to your chosen major. This is not an essay response that will help you win a student slot. It will not help your application at all. Strengthen the weak points and put some research time into your response creation to create a solid application essay instead.
OP WaterCivEngAFM 1 / 1  
Jan 14, 2020   #3
Thanks for reply! Do you have any advice on what parts to take out, or if I should just rewrite my essay? My problem is I only have a 900 character limit and I found it hard to fit my interests in both programs in such limited space so I was just told to generalize and put something that connects both of the programs I applied too.

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