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'Winning the Green Card lottery' - CommonApp MAIN ESSAY; No longer a wallflower



br2pi5 10 / 70  
Jan 1, 2013   #1
NO NEED FOR EDITING/REVISING, just read it, PLEASE! :)

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

OR

Topic of your choice

"No longer a Wallflower" (title---> underlined or quote marks when I upload it?)

The lime green cover reads "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" by Stephen Chbosky. As my eyes glide over the pages, I quickly find my favorite character. According to Charlie, "even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there." I could not have agreed more.

It is difficult to leave the place you call home once, even twice, but the third time turns you into an emotional wreck. I moved from Bolivia to Spain when I was seven years old, and from Spain to the United States when I was thirteen. I entered the so called freshman year in high school, and with "Hello," "How are you," and "Goodbye" under my belt, I made it through my first day.

Day by day for the next four years, I learned to love a culture completely different from the two I knew. Yet, my new American identity co-existed within me. I made a new home. Although this time, I did not expect my life to take a u-turn.

Winning the Green Card lottery during my senior year was a bittersweet feeling. My permanence was no longer a mystery and hypothetically, I was free to roam as I pleased. But I felt stuck, for there was still a long process to jump through. Life still wrapped me in its irony and when I had finally been given the right to stay indefinitely in the country I longed to remain, I was required to leave with a to-be-determined date of return. All the plans I had for university came to a halt.

I missed America but I saw my return to Spain as a chance to rediscover myself. I always lived a life that was constantly in motion and, though I felt the weight of concrete on my shoulders, I decided to move forward. I indulged in my education. I met people who strengthened the benchmarks I had set for myself and, with the experiences I pursued, I continued to set new ones. I did not have floating goals and dreams; I persevered with success in my intellectual and personal pursuits. I took charge of my life, and this time of uncertainty felt no longer like an obstacle.

Two years have passed since I graduated from high school and now, back on American soil, I think about the parallels of my life experiences. The time when I first came to the U.S. and learned the word 'mild' a little too late at an Indian restaurant to the time when I embarrassingly mispronounced the word 'beach' during a school presentation. Both were situations that arrived from predicaments I was facing but I worked to overcome.

As I finish reading this book, I will take away that no matter the situation I am in, I can change the now. Charlie and I live by this mantra; we are no longer wallflowers, but doers.

luying9682 6 / 35  
Jan 1, 2013   #2
Hello, I think the first one is fine. However, I am not sure that the topic is really *that* matters. I guess it's just a prompt thing giving the AOs some ideas of what they would read in the article. So just choose the one that covers your main idea. :)
OP br2pi5 10 / 70  
Jan 1, 2013   #3
thank you! do you think it answers the prompt fully? Also if you have a second, could you please help me with my last thread about my gap year?? I'd really appreciate it!
CTHIMENYOR 1 / 13  
Jan 1, 2013   #4
first one because moving is a significant experience
OP br2pi5 10 / 70  
Jan 1, 2013   #5
oh man... I have no idea what to do! this is hard! I feel like my essay falls into topic of your choice but answers also the first prompt. however, I do think it doesn't answer it fully (especially the how it has impact you), or am I wrong???
bpi1092 2 / 6  
Jan 9, 2013   #6
thank you! anyone else that can maybe point out a phrase that could be deleted? I rather delete one than change little things about the rest because I would have to take out words that make my essay sound better in my opinion.
manjot 2 / 30  
Jan 9, 2013   #7
Okay, I really like the essay, I think Penn State will accept 38 more words, the essay is intriguing. If their application system is not rigid and accepts more words, you should go with the essay.
Didgeridoo - / 289  
Jan 9, 2013   #8
I met people who strengthened the benchmarks I had set for myself and, with the experiences I pursued, I continued to set new ones.

You could take this phrase out; the message of you being driven is pretty clear.

Sorry if I'm too late... :/


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