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I wish to return to Uzbekistan and work for General Motors; APU Application



studious 2 / 3  
May 6, 2013   #1
2. Please write about any previous commendable experiences, any extra-curricular activities you hope to pursue after you have entered the university, and your plans after graduation from APU.

Now we are living in the period of educational advancement and computer technologies. Therefore,as we can see that people are becoming and dependent on educational degrees such as college dipoma,Bachelor's and Master's Degree to be employed by a prestigious company. However,the success at a universityis bended with the experience ,those the student of any higher educational institution has undergone it in his lifetime.Before applying to your university,APU,I have also tended to experience a lot,for instance,holding the major role in social activities and competitions was my initial experience.

As you know that many people avoid taking responsibility for something,because they are afraid of failing,also putting a pressure on themselves . Nonetheless,at that time, I took over the arrangement of a big event and after succeeding in organizing it,I noticed that I was becoming confident,then I realized the significance of this ability.

There are many requirements for the person who wants to get accepted to APU. I believe that I have relevant qualifications to become a successful international student at APU. When I studied at senior and high schools, I was the leader of my group and football tean.I successfully took part in scientific competitions many times. I organized a speaking club,conversation and discussion clubs to improve students' skills. I am an active volunteer of "Kamolot" and "Fund Forum". I was a participant of competition called "Young Lawyer " organized by Fund Forum in Uzbekistan. I got the second place on the Region level,which is a good achievement.Expect for this,I was also involved in sport competitions such as ping-pong and chess. I got the second place in the competition among senior schools in Surkhandarya. Surkhandarya is the one of the regions of Uzbekistan. And when I came to high school first time, it was organized "Young Kasparov" chess competition to choose the best player.Pity,I got the the third place in this challenge. But, I just wanted to be the winner of the competition.

That also gave me broad social experience. Now I intend to continue my these activities by participating in extra-curricular activities and I can assure that I will be an active member of student clubs and societies at APU. I will do my best in my studies in order to be a good specialist that will be able to help people and the society. Certainly,not everything depends on us. That is why I cannot say definitely what will happen in my future.

Moreover,having graduated from APU, I am planning to come back to my country,Uzbekistan and to work in General Motors. Overally,I am going to enhance my county's management by adopting new approaches based on the experience and knowledge that I will have obtained in APU. Then,after gathering enough experience, I will apply for the universities in the UK to study Master's Degree.I consider my knowledge and experience gained at APU and in Japan will assist me in completing the degree.After completing the degree,I will come back to my country again and look for any job where my knowledge and experience are necessary. I really want my country to gain high prestiges in the world ranking with its economy,culture,business and overally management. Studying atAPU will be the biggest contribution to it.Certainly, you may be hesitating about how to believe me,as you have not ever known me.But, If you give me a chance to study at your university,I will represent what a great decision you made and will never let you down. As a consequence, one day you will feel proud of me.

manjot 2 / 30  
May 6, 2013   #2
I can see that you're sincere but at the end you sound a little desperate, give them reason and logic to accept you ,

, If you give me a chance to study at your university,I will represent what a great decision you made and will never let you down. As a consequence, one day you will feel proud of me.

There are a lot of mistakes in this one, I would suggest proof-reading it and giving the essay to your English teacher, for correction.

You are giving the wrong vibes in this essay, proof-read it and get back to me

Like this post if you found it helpful :)
dumi 1 / 6793  
May 6, 2013   #3
Now we are living in the period of educational advancement and computer technologies.

... These things do not talk about you.... When you have word count limitations, I think you should not waste even a single word that goes in vain. So, talk more about you in this response because they need to know you as a person.

It seems you have many achievements. However, don't let it sound like a list of achievements. You need to present it a bit more creatively.
As is 2 / 5  
May 7, 2013   #4
What is APU and what is UWED high school?!
I'm from Uzbekistan too...
What did you do to study there, where you are now? And what are the requirements of entrance? What did you get from TOEFL?
Thanks in advance


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