Prompt: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
You cannot judge a book by its cover. I never understood the full meaning of this saying until I met Mr. Howard Wong, my 9th grade music teacher. As he entered the classroom with a stern and serious look on his face, the whole class assumed that he was going to be a strict teacher, since he was also a professional baritone singer. However, all our fears vanished once he introduced himself - every student was soon at ease as he started the first lesson with gusto and humor. Sentimental as I was at the time, I missed Mr. Alistair Auld, the music teacher before Mr. Wong. I had grown fond of Mr. Auld, who had come with an impressive pedigree, having played professionally and conducted choirs all over England and Bahrain. After quitting teaching in school, Mr. Auld opened up a music institute and I was one of the first students to join and learn the piano. Eager to complete the final grade of the ABRSM piano exams before I graduated, I registered at his institute. Mr. Wong, however, had his own reservations and constantly urged me to learn piano at the school. Alas, my blind faith forced me to ignore his advice and despite two years at the music institute, I was not quite ready to record for my GCSE Music qualification.
However, he did not lose faith, instead found and honed the untapped potential in me. Every morning, before classes began, he devoted his free time to instruct me. He was quick to detect and point out discrepancies in my piano playing, and I regretted throwing a deaf ear to his earlier advice. Nonetheless, he instilled confidence in and guided me so well that I managed to perform to the best of my abilities and excel in the final exam.
Learning under him also taught me a valuable lesson: make the most of every opportunity that you get. I realize that there are millions of young children for whom education is an alien thing but it is only through education that a country's progress and development be measured.
Furthermore, Mr. Wong often used to say," You cannot fatten a pig by constantly weighing it." In times of stress, this is the one saying that always returns. It is the balm that cools the turmoil in my mind during exams. It reminds me that a student's value cannot be measured by a GPA or class rank; in fact, it is the total of what s/he learns from everything around her/him. In retrospect, the impact Mr. Wong had on me for the short two years has been a completely positive one and has helped me mature into an adult learner. Prior to meeting him, I would always try to learn things at an accelerated pace without focusing on the basics, but under his tutelage, I have learned to take things slowly and steadily and I am confident that these skills will stand me in good stead in college.
1) Is the conclusion too weak?? I always have trouble with conclusions.
Looking for harsh feedback. Thanks in advance
You cannot judge a book by its cover. I never understood the full meaning of this saying until I met Mr. Howard Wong, my 9th grade music teacher. As he entered the classroom with a stern and serious look on his face, the whole class assumed that he was going to be a strict teacher, since he was also a professional baritone singer. However, all our fears vanished once he introduced himself - every student was soon at ease as he started the first lesson with gusto and humor. Sentimental as I was at the time, I missed Mr. Alistair Auld, the music teacher before Mr. Wong. I had grown fond of Mr. Auld, who had come with an impressive pedigree, having played professionally and conducted choirs all over England and Bahrain. After quitting teaching in school, Mr. Auld opened up a music institute and I was one of the first students to join and learn the piano. Eager to complete the final grade of the ABRSM piano exams before I graduated, I registered at his institute. Mr. Wong, however, had his own reservations and constantly urged me to learn piano at the school. Alas, my blind faith forced me to ignore his advice and despite two years at the music institute, I was not quite ready to record for my GCSE Music qualification.
However, he did not lose faith, instead found and honed the untapped potential in me. Every morning, before classes began, he devoted his free time to instruct me. He was quick to detect and point out discrepancies in my piano playing, and I regretted throwing a deaf ear to his earlier advice. Nonetheless, he instilled confidence in and guided me so well that I managed to perform to the best of my abilities and excel in the final exam.
Learning under him also taught me a valuable lesson: make the most of every opportunity that you get. I realize that there are millions of young children for whom education is an alien thing but it is only through education that a country's progress and development be measured.
Furthermore, Mr. Wong often used to say," You cannot fatten a pig by constantly weighing it." In times of stress, this is the one saying that always returns. It is the balm that cools the turmoil in my mind during exams. It reminds me that a student's value cannot be measured by a GPA or class rank; in fact, it is the total of what s/he learns from everything around her/him. In retrospect, the impact Mr. Wong had on me for the short two years has been a completely positive one and has helped me mature into an adult learner. Prior to meeting him, I would always try to learn things at an accelerated pace without focusing on the basics, but under his tutelage, I have learned to take things slowly and steadily and I am confident that these skills will stand me in good stead in college.
1) Is the conclusion too weak?? I always have trouble with conclusions.
Looking for harsh feedback. Thanks in advance
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