"Please explain your reasons for wanting to attend MIT" supposed to be roughly 250 words, I think I'm at like 280? whoops...
If anyone could give me input on the first three sentences, that would be great. I think it's awkward, but I don't know how to make them work better. I originally had the two items as bullet elements, but that doesn't really work in an essay...
Any help with word count would be great, but some of the examples I intend to keep.
The essay is not really concluded, as you can tell. I want to make the idea of rheopectic paint relevant, as odd as it seems, (it's a non-newtonian fluid) and that paragraph is basically the listing of my reasons, though not explicitly.
The part about the optical lattice needs reworking, (or removal!!!) but the idea is basically that I am trapped, and I can't escape. MIT could give me the energy I need to overcome the potential well. Again, totally willing to scrap this.
This is a weird rough mix, but I think it's shaping up.
The word physics summons two scenes. The first, a researcher's office: Ancient editions of Physical Review D, books bursting off metal shelves with a cloud of dust and the sediment of "filed" student papers from 1993, two computer monitors with the LCD glow of activity. The second, students: An information cloud of caffeinated passion, spontaneously coalescing under trees, on the edge of a fountain, around the professor after class, between beds and living rooms, pushing through psets together.
Though my image of a platonic physics professor is fiction, I know my dreams of assiduity are a reality at MIT. Students learn from each other, as well as their professors. I want to learn from, and hope to contribute to this scientific community.
Presently, there is no scientific community for me to join. My classes are populated by older students who disdain an undergrad three or four years their junior, no matter how interested. My discussions with Dr. LaRosa and Dr. Kidonakis are the only inkling of community I've found, but these discussions are limited by my professors' availability and my limited experience. I feel like an atom in an optical lattice with energy just short of what I need to overcome the potential and a transmission probability only a few percent.
I believe that I could melt into MIT like rheopectic paint, slowly easing into the community and then thickening into unique splotches, making my own mark on the canvas. I could apply for that UROP with Dr. Coppi in the LNS, and study phenomenology. I could join the SPS and take part in a community of physics students. I could take classes with students my own age that would treat me like a fellow student instead of a child.
If anyone could give me input on the first three sentences, that would be great. I think it's awkward, but I don't know how to make them work better. I originally had the two items as bullet elements, but that doesn't really work in an essay...
Any help with word count would be great, but some of the examples I intend to keep.
The essay is not really concluded, as you can tell. I want to make the idea of rheopectic paint relevant, as odd as it seems, (it's a non-newtonian fluid) and that paragraph is basically the listing of my reasons, though not explicitly.
The part about the optical lattice needs reworking, (or removal!!!) but the idea is basically that I am trapped, and I can't escape. MIT could give me the energy I need to overcome the potential well. Again, totally willing to scrap this.
This is a weird rough mix, but I think it's shaping up.
The word physics summons two scenes. The first, a researcher's office: Ancient editions of Physical Review D, books bursting off metal shelves with a cloud of dust and the sediment of "filed" student papers from 1993, two computer monitors with the LCD glow of activity. The second, students: An information cloud of caffeinated passion, spontaneously coalescing under trees, on the edge of a fountain, around the professor after class, between beds and living rooms, pushing through psets together.
Though my image of a platonic physics professor is fiction, I know my dreams of assiduity are a reality at MIT. Students learn from each other, as well as their professors. I want to learn from, and hope to contribute to this scientific community.
Presently, there is no scientific community for me to join. My classes are populated by older students who disdain an undergrad three or four years their junior, no matter how interested. My discussions with Dr. LaRosa and Dr. Kidonakis are the only inkling of community I've found, but these discussions are limited by my professors' availability and my limited experience. I feel like an atom in an optical lattice with energy just short of what I need to overcome the potential and a transmission probability only a few percent.
I believe that I could melt into MIT like rheopectic paint, slowly easing into the community and then thickening into unique splotches, making my own mark on the canvas. I could apply for that UROP with Dr. Coppi in the LNS, and study phenomenology. I could join the SPS and take part in a community of physics students. I could take classes with students my own age that would treat me like a fellow student instead of a child.