Please feel free to comment, I would appreciate negative criticism
Working and learning (An essay about my internship)
"Hello", "Yes he is right here", "Okay, I'll tell him immediately" He turns to me, "Sandesh, there are some new connection problems at Vishwomitra School, you need to go with the network team, go to the main office within 15 minutes" I get up immediately and handle my editing job to the other intern, our online library Pustakalya was getting better every day. Then I take several RJ-45s an extra Engenius, some crimping tools and we are off. In that humming bike of ours we ride through the dusty Kathmandu to the outskirts of valley and finally to the school, with hours of working we bring internet back to life and then return home at wee hours of evening. I could not have known there were so many needy government schools right at the border of our Capital had I not joined OLE as an intern.
Such immediate field visit is a weekly thing at OLE. There are large other works of repairing the damaged laptops, scanning and editing infinite books and of course the deployment to the far districts of Nepal that could sometimes last a week. By far I have probably repaired more than hundred laptops scanned hundreds of books made a thousand Rj-45 connections and have gone for few deployments. The number increases every day but the numbers I mentioned are just an estimate. I cannot say for sure how much I have done. Actually I have lost count. Well, that is what happens when something becomes a part of your life- you lose count.
To be truthful, I had never been a committed hard worker and was seriously taken aback during my first days at OLE. It is obvious to be repelled by the relentless eight hours of working for a recent high school graduate who has a free year. Later when I realized the significance of the work I was doing I could not be more proud of myself. My first deployment was after the first week. We went to remote schools in Makwanpur taking along boxes of additional laptops to distribute. When I met the children I could not believe how smart they had become simply by the work we were doing and since I was there I had the tag to take that credit. Our project had really served its purpose and the amazing thing for me was to be just the part of it. I have then started working even harder in these recent months, I think that is why I am promoted from January.
However, as much of an efficient worker I believe myself to be, I am also a seventeen-year-old with an incomplete education. I believe I have greater potential to serve the society I live in, I dream of the day I am standing alone on the airport, waiting to go to the college half the world far with newer and rewarding challenges I am so ready to face. Because I have come to know that there are far more things I could do than as an intern at OLE. Those I could but not yet prepared to. That is exactly what College will teach me, to instil in me the ability to discover what I am best at and let me strive to be the best in that.
OLE has also made me realize that I am just a person passing through a phase. Two years at Budhanilkantha and one year at OLE. They are just a period of learning experience that eventually must end. College is another period I hope to be in the coming year. After all, I am just an ant travelling through the stairs. With every plain to run comes a steep slope to climb and that is where I am now- a steep slope, the upcoming plain is a college, a place I must pass through to climb higher, a plain where I will be free to run for four more years without worrying about falling and most importantly a place to prepare me for other countless steep slopes left to climb. My journey is just starting to make sense and I am already thrilled by the possibility of wonders that lies ahead.
"Hello", "Yes he is right here" -- "Hello...Yes, he is right here...Okay, I'll tell him immediately" "- I think this better illustrates your point.
I get up immediately and hand my
finally to the school, after hours of working we br
When I met the children I could not believe how smart they had become simply by the work we were doing and since I was there, I had the tag to take that credit.
think that is why I am promoted from January.-- this makes no sense; is January a department? or were you promoted in january.
I believe you are answering essay option 1. If so, I feel your essay could be improved. You seem to be writing about what colleges want to hear and it doesn't seem personal enough. the essay is supposed to be about YOU. I think you should focus on what you've learned from the experience and avoid talking about your college aspirations. You should also avoid mentioning you achievements overtly. e.g "I think that is why I am promoted from January". if you really feel you need to mention your achievements, say them in a less direct manner.
all the best. Please check my essay.
