I am a Chinese student.Does this essay a good one to reflect my uniqueness?Please give me some suggestions.
Here is the essay.
When I graduated from junior middle school, I succeed in the senior high entrance exams; therefore, I was accepted by the best senior high I have struggled for. I was not happy or exciting, however, I felt helpless and fearful, as if I was not going to my dream school, but the hell. I fell into confusion and frustration. According to my understanding of myself, I could not explain it. I went to Mount Emei, one of the four Sacred Buddhist Mountains in China to find out an answer. The patron bodhisattva is Samantabhadra, meaning Universal Worthy and associated with meditation. I went there to make a wish. Unlike others wished about being healthy or happy, I prayed for being enlightened thoroughly.
Back from Mount Emei, I met Cather in the Rye by accident. I finished the book in one night. It is a simple lovely warm book to me, despite of its opposite reviews. I saw myself clearly through Holden Caulfield and realized why I felt helpless and fearful. Most of the times, I had awareness of some unnamable feelings, but I could not tell. The book exactly translated my consciousness into vivid perceptible words. I realized that I had been a "phony" for 16 years. I had never thought who I am independently. I lost myself in other's reviews and expectations. Knowing this made me feel reasonable. Only, I did not know how to quit being phony. I needed real substantial things to make me down to the life and to realize whom am I, just like Holden Caulfield has his own tiny things, such as ducks' winter home, D.B's stories, and old Phoebe. Looking into life itself and discovering details are lots of fun. I truly fell in love with lives and loved to live in this world, no matter phony or faithful. Life itself is marvelous.
I had a habit in reading that if I like one story; I would like to read all the stories written by the same author. Therefore, I covered J. D. Salinger's all books.
When I was reading Franny & Zoey, I found I was in the same crisis as Franny was. We both fell in the swirl related to mysterious philosophy in finding one's self. Zoey extricate Franny
from the debacle as well as me.
When reading Seymour: an Instruction I felt just like looking into a mirror. We had so much in common: interests in eastern philosophy, good mannered in surface no matter how bad we felt, and so on. Seymour's life may be my life. He is a kind of idol to me.
When I was reading Nine Stories, I suddenly stopped bothering myself with no-results questions. There is a circle of life in the book, starting from Seymour's death and ending at Teddy's nirvana. Life itself is just the appearance of the Thathata (truth). Life is nothing serious; it is just a series of warm humble stories. There is no right or wrong in life, only true or false. Life may be divined, may be not; it does not matter. What matters is how you look, because "we all live in illusion and appearance of things."
I felt totally freed, just as got illuminated. I thought it was a great sublimation in my life. Mom said it was just of my adolescence years.
Here is the essay.
When I graduated from junior middle school, I succeed in the senior high entrance exams; therefore, I was accepted by the best senior high I have struggled for. I was not happy or exciting, however, I felt helpless and fearful, as if I was not going to my dream school, but the hell. I fell into confusion and frustration. According to my understanding of myself, I could not explain it. I went to Mount Emei, one of the four Sacred Buddhist Mountains in China to find out an answer. The patron bodhisattva is Samantabhadra, meaning Universal Worthy and associated with meditation. I went there to make a wish. Unlike others wished about being healthy or happy, I prayed for being enlightened thoroughly.
Back from Mount Emei, I met Cather in the Rye by accident. I finished the book in one night. It is a simple lovely warm book to me, despite of its opposite reviews. I saw myself clearly through Holden Caulfield and realized why I felt helpless and fearful. Most of the times, I had awareness of some unnamable feelings, but I could not tell. The book exactly translated my consciousness into vivid perceptible words. I realized that I had been a "phony" for 16 years. I had never thought who I am independently. I lost myself in other's reviews and expectations. Knowing this made me feel reasonable. Only, I did not know how to quit being phony. I needed real substantial things to make me down to the life and to realize whom am I, just like Holden Caulfield has his own tiny things, such as ducks' winter home, D.B's stories, and old Phoebe. Looking into life itself and discovering details are lots of fun. I truly fell in love with lives and loved to live in this world, no matter phony or faithful. Life itself is marvelous.
I had a habit in reading that if I like one story; I would like to read all the stories written by the same author. Therefore, I covered J. D. Salinger's all books.
When I was reading Franny & Zoey, I found I was in the same crisis as Franny was. We both fell in the swirl related to mysterious philosophy in finding one's self. Zoey extricate Franny
from the debacle as well as me.
When reading Seymour: an Instruction I felt just like looking into a mirror. We had so much in common: interests in eastern philosophy, good mannered in surface no matter how bad we felt, and so on. Seymour's life may be my life. He is a kind of idol to me.
When I was reading Nine Stories, I suddenly stopped bothering myself with no-results questions. There is a circle of life in the book, starting from Seymour's death and ending at Teddy's nirvana. Life itself is just the appearance of the Thathata (truth). Life is nothing serious; it is just a series of warm humble stories. There is no right or wrong in life, only true or false. Life may be divined, may be not; it does not matter. What matters is how you look, because "we all live in illusion and appearance of things."
I felt totally freed, just as got illuminated. I thought it was a great sublimation in my life. Mom said it was just of my adolescence years.