Here are my application essays. I hope to receive your comments and revise as soon as possible.
Topic: Please write an essay of not more than 200 words the most important factor or person that influence your education or formation of your characters.
My childhood wasn't days with dolls or cooking game. It's rather days with stained T-shirts, dirty football games and daddy-be-teacher science classes. In which I could freely discuss what I am really interested in: Science and realised that my father is the most important person of my life.
Opposite to me, my father isn't a talkative person. But I still love him so much because of not only his humor, his care for family but also his rare, unforgettable quotes given whenever I am down. One time, when I was in my room just after failing the final exam, my father came. "At least you tried your best" he said and invited me to play a childhood game: dismantling a fan with an ice-cream as the award.
At least I tried my best. I may not be a world-famous diplomat or activist like Oprah Winfrey but I do love spending time with kids, sharing their pains, sufferings and giving them what I luckily receive everyday. And yes, I may be not a future scientist or a prominent mathematician but experiments and equations are what I am always fond of. After all, I tried my best and as my father also said: " Cherish your day-to-day life without regret".
(208words)
you father was a good person
your essay are touching but i don't understand what do you mean by dismantling a fan
my english was bad.,...
well what she/he may mean that her/his father want to make it up for her/him after she/he failed her/his exam. He invited her/him to play a game with him so she/he could feel better. isn't it??
Edward, you have a cool username! It spreads the positive feelings...
Let's look at this essay:
My childhood wasn't days with dolls or cooking games.
It was, rather, days with stained T-shirts, dirty football games and daddy-be-teacher science classes.
During these days, I could freely discuss what I am really interested in: Science. I realised that my father is the most important person of my life.
Okay, very good, but instead of saying "science," you should mention what specific kinds of science most interest you.
:-)
Awesome, I really like your style of communication. The end of the essay is the best.
