These essays are due tonight , so any help would be seriously seriously appreciated. I feel like both of the essays are decent content-wise but are really bland; I would like to make them more powerful. I would also like to cut down the longer "knowledge" one if possible. I'll take any kind of feedback though. Thanks!
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)
Though I do not have enough experience to call myself an "artist," creating graphic art is one of my favorite pastimes. A perfectionist and a dreamer, I get an exquisite pleasure from being able to create something just as I imagine it, with all the details just right. Everytime I open up a file, I lose hours, getting the contrast just-so, upping the saturation that little bit, changing the color from #CAF4FF to #C8F2FC. Working requires not only concentration but perseverance; sometimes the results are so unsalvageable that I have to start over. But just for the times it works out, it's absolutely worth it - combining so many disparate elements into a cohesive, beautiful whole is a thrill I can't imagine getting any other way. [125 words]
Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?
They say we live in the information age, where technology gives access to fact and fiction at the click of a button. However, I was submerged in a world of knowledge far before I knew how to navigate the internet.
When I was growing up, my parents were huge subscribers to the theory of interactive learning. Accordingly, Miss Frizzle and Bill Nye were my favorite small screen friends, my first magazine subscription was to Kids Discover, and I am the proud owner of at least six different versions of The Cluefinders. By the time I played my first non-educational computer game, the damage was already done: I thought learning was fun.
My thirst for information translated easily into a lifelong love affair with reading. I read voraciously and without discrimination, but by fifth grade, my selections had narrowed almost exclusively to one genre: sci-fi/fantasy. The unrestricted plot, the unconventional characters, and the breathtakingly beautiful universes that I fall into are things I cannot resist. These novels tend to further whet my taste, as early on I decided that if someone was going to discover all those fantastical inventions and alien worlds, it should be me
Every Monday and Thursday I step into another repository of knowledge: the Kumon Math and Reading Center. I have worked there as assistant teacher for four years (and studied there longer), and I have taught students of all ages everything from basic addition to integral and differential calculus. I love seeing mirrored in the kids the same passion for learning that I feel, and to contribute to theirs is like completing the cycle. Teaching there really highlighted the love I have for learning myself.
CONCLUSION. (I plan on about two sentences that basically restate the first paragraph) [279 words]
We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words)
Though I do not have enough experience to call myself an "artist," creating graphic art is one of my favorite pastimes. A perfectionist and a dreamer, I get an exquisite pleasure from being able to create something just as I imagine it, with all the details just right. Everytime I open up a file, I lose hours, getting the contrast just-so, upping the saturation that little bit, changing the color from #CAF4FF to #C8F2FC. Working requires not only concentration but perseverance; sometimes the results are so unsalvageable that I have to start over. But just for the times it works out, it's absolutely worth it - combining so many disparate elements into a cohesive, beautiful whole is a thrill I can't imagine getting any other way. [125 words]
Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?
They say we live in the information age, where technology gives access to fact and fiction at the click of a button. However, I was submerged in a world of knowledge far before I knew how to navigate the internet.
When I was growing up, my parents were huge subscribers to the theory of interactive learning. Accordingly, Miss Frizzle and Bill Nye were my favorite small screen friends, my first magazine subscription was to Kids Discover, and I am the proud owner of at least six different versions of The Cluefinders. By the time I played my first non-educational computer game, the damage was already done: I thought learning was fun.
My thirst for information translated easily into a lifelong love affair with reading. I read voraciously and without discrimination, but by fifth grade, my selections had narrowed almost exclusively to one genre: sci-fi/fantasy. The unrestricted plot, the unconventional characters, and the breathtakingly beautiful universes that I fall into are things I cannot resist. These novels tend to further whet my taste, as early on I decided that if someone was going to discover all those fantastical inventions and alien worlds, it should be me
Every Monday and Thursday I step into another repository of knowledge: the Kumon Math and Reading Center. I have worked there as assistant teacher for four years (and studied there longer), and I have taught students of all ages everything from basic addition to integral and differential calculus. I love seeing mirrored in the kids the same passion for learning that I feel, and to contribute to theirs is like completing the cycle. Teaching there really highlighted the love I have for learning myself.
CONCLUSION. (I plan on about two sentences that basically restate the first paragraph) [279 words]
