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'Wrestling is a sport' - UC 2 an experience that is important



adamhkim54 2 / 12  
Nov 26, 2011   #1
I really need help with editing this so anyone that can help, this would be awesome. Thanks so much!

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Wrestling is a sport that I had never considered being a part of at any point in my life. Being tall and long, I felt I was a complete contrast to that typical large and hulking wrestler. With a desire to be recognized, I joined the team in hopes that I would bulk up. My initial thought was that wrestling would be a side activity but it manifested as a part of my life and who I am. My first wrestling season was horrible. I expected that after practicing for a few months I would be able to pin guys in the first few seconds. The reality was that I lost all but three of my matches that year. Instead of gold medals, I received two cauliflower ears, a staph infection, and MRSA. As I reflected on my season, I only felt disappointment and regret. I remember the coaches telling me that everyday was a test, not for them or my peers, but for me. I realized that strength and muscularity wasn't the reason for my losses, although it would have helped. I needed a strong will to work hard to achieve set goals.

The next year I held a different mindset. Everyday, I pushed myself past my thresholds bearing the pains of a stressful workout and then stayed after practice to hone skills that I learned. Unfortunately, the time I spent after school, in dual meets, and in tournaments was taken away from my school work. I was at a crossroad of achieving academic success and becoming a decent wrestler. With every spare moment that I found, I did my homework and studied for upcoming tests. In between matches, I would take notes for my biology course and on the bus rides, I solved calculus problems. I made sure that I efficiently managed so that I could excel in both wrestling and academics.

As the junior varsity captain, I became more confident in what I did on the mat and in each classroom. I knew that the work ethic that I learned as a wrestler helped me to become recognized as one of the smartest in my classroom. Overall, wrestling gave me the mental fitness to power through any arduous task whether if I'm suffering from fatigue or tempted towards procrastination. I can handle any stress or pressures and overcome all hardships simply because I know I can.

simplymeilin 2 / 5  
Nov 26, 2011   #2
"tall and long" Tall means long so you should delete a word.
You talked about how wrestling taught you to become a student athlete and that's the main point of your essay but you only provided a few sentences on how you became a student athlete. You were very general of that. I feel like you should talk more about it and add more details.

Your essay can be describing any wrestler. It's very typical. You should add more details and relate it to you more. Give more personal input.

I got a glimpse of your sport with this part of a sentence: "two cauliflower ears, a staph infection, and MRSA". I advise you to add some name of wrestling moves or terms so it shows that you are knowledgeable of the sport.

With some work, it can become a strong essay :) Hope I helped!
OP adamhkim54 2 / 12  
Nov 26, 2011   #3
Thank you for your feedback! so i should add more sentences like this?: "In between matches, I would take notes for my biology course and on the bus rides, I solved calculus problems."
angie2012 1 / 5  
Nov 27, 2011   #4
This is a pretty good essay. I think though you should emphasized a little more in how wrestling was beneficial for you mentally, like how It motivated you to improve not only in this sport but in academics as well.

Did people around you noticed it?
I think this information would give be a boost to your essay.
hope I helped. :)


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