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The sport is separated into two groups; a team sport or an individual sport


Yuyahhhh 3 / 4  
Sep 17, 2016   #1
Some people prefer to play team sports, while others prefer to play individual sports. Discuss the advantages of each. Then indicate which you prefer and why.



The Olympics is going to take place in Tokyo in 2020. Baseball and karate will take place as official Olympic events after the long heated discussion. Those two sports are separated into two groups; team sport or individual sport, respectively. Both team sports and individual sports are very popular around the world. However, I prefer team sports rather than individual sports. Because I have done both sports, I'm well aware of the advantages of both sports. I'd like to mention my opinion from both points of view.

The first point I'd like to mention is that there are some advantages of individual sports. Unlikely team sports such as baseball and soccer, most individual sports do not need large space. Also, most of them can be done both indoors and outdoors. Namely, we can enjoy individual sports even if there are not spacious places and also if the weather is bad. Therefore, we can play or practice almost anywhere and anytime. Moreover, individual sports don't create a person who is the main cause of the defeat. In team sports, the mistake of one of the players can cause the defeat of the game. On the other hand, players themselves have to be responsible for their result of matches in individual sports.

Though there are a lot of advantages of individual sports, there are more compelling advantages of the team sports. Most importantly, players can share the delight of their achievements with their teammates. In my personal experiences of coaching a baseball team, when my students win a game, they are very delighted, and even cry for a joy putting their arms on each shoulder. That is the most moving moment for me as a coach. The stronger the teamwork is, the greater the sensation they have. It is a special feeling that we can't experience in individual sports. Furthermore, team sports can help develop social skills. For a team to perform well, creating a good atmosphere is necessary because it always leads to better results. When the players, however, cannot maintain good relationship within a team, their performance would be lowered. Therefore players learn how to have better communication, how to develop relationship and how to collaborate with others through playing team sports.

In conclusion, though there are a lot of advantages of individual sports, team sports have more advantageous aspects. Through my experience in both sports, the abilities that I acquired and the sensation that I experienced in team sports are more valuable up to now. If I started sports now, I would choose team sports.
fadhilmd25 41 / 75 11  
Sep 17, 2016   #2
Dear Yuyahhhhh, here are some advices for your writing, feel free to correct me,

The Olympics is going to take place in Tokyo in 2020 --> in my opinion, it is better to use future form as it will happen in 2020

The Olympics will take place in Tokyo in 2020

Baseball and karate willtake place as official Olympic events after the long heated discussion-->

put the connection before the baseball, for instance Moreover/furthermore, change take place to more appropriate verb conduct (will be conducted)

However, I prefer --> better to use in my opinion as you do not compare this argument/sentence to another sentence

Because I have done both sports --> not done, have played/participated

hope it helps you to clear your doubt and improve your writing,

regards


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