Hey so can someone please take a peek at these? They are some short answers for a few schools I'm applying to. Thanks
1. What do you love to do?
In a land of mountains hovering mid-air, lush thickets of effulgent trees, mystical miladys, swindling charlatans, and charming young dwarves, I am their creator, their puppet master. I tell my characters what to do and how to live, all while making it up along the way. Writing is my life; when I write, I am the one pulling, cutting, and stretching the strings which control people's lives to form anywhere between a short and forthright plot, or one so convoluted that Jane Austen is put to shame. My pen is my champion and with it in hand, I am as omnipotent as God- creator of the universe and superior to all.
2. Three words to describe yourself-
I may be described in many ways. Some days I am energetic and animated, and others, I am austere and wise. Three facets of myself that will never change, though, are my ambition, leadership, and consideration. Almost a lifetime of looking up to my neighbor, Audrey has taught me to be ambitious. Seeing her do homework until ten at night every school day bewildered me greatly. "Why are you doing so much work?" I inquired once, "Because I have debate team and I take very hard classes" she replied. Seeing her desire for academic excellence encouraged me to pursue my own aspirations, despite the many obstructions I encounter. The ability to inspire others is a notion of leadership that is so very difficult to capture, but something that is essential; I am able to convince others to follow a path that can be arduous or uncertain. Knowing all that my parents have sacrificed for my sister and I to follow our dreams and live our lives in comfort teach me consideration. I am forever grateful for what my mother and father have given me and in return, I will be sure to make my mark on the world.
9. Describe one of your talents and how you developed it
"Just one more problem" my mom would say to me. I, having no other choice but to obey her, would sit down and pour over another Algebra problem. Ever since I learned to walk, my parents were stubborn about making me do math that was way above the level of difficulty expected for my age. In second grade I already knew how to multiply fractions, and by the summer of fifth grade, I was solving quadratics. I never particularly liked math when I was younger, I just was decent at it. Although my parents were good at forcing me to do tedious practicing, they never taught me to enjoy math- that I learned on my own. I never came to fully appreciate what math had to offer. It is my language, and I was only starting to notice its virtue; it gives me a sense of structure in my life, as in math, there is always an explanation to why something is. Three times three isn't just nine for no reason; math is absolute, and 100% verifiable. In light of this revelation, I began to see math through a brighter, more optimistic purview.
maybe its just me, but I think you should change the order of the sentences. I think that the first sentence is good, but you should say writing is my life first, then "In a land of mountains hovering mid-air, lush thickets of effulgent trees, mystical miladys, swindling charlatans, and charming young dwarves, I am their creator, their puppet master." after.
For the second one you mentioned the root of your ambition but you didn't really give definite examples of your leadership, which could be your most pivotal facet. I love how your third essay shows a contrast between what you're talented in (math) and what you enjoy to do (write stories), I thought that was pretty cool.
