When writing this supplement for NYU, I shouldn't regurgitate everything provided in the pamphlets.

Note: This supplement is incredibly rough. I'm trying not to make it so stereotypical and generic. Help??*
NYU is global, urban, inspired, smart, connected, and bold. What can NYU offer you, and what can you offer NYU? (200-400 words)
Whilst visiting the Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development, Dean Carey noted that when writing this supplement, I shouldn't regurgitate everything provided in the pamphlets. So, other than the structured interdisciplinary Applied Psychology program that can equip me with the tools needed to make career decisions, I think that NYU can provide me with a home within my home of New York City. NYU is a globally known university that attracts students from a variety of ethnic, social and economic backgrounds. Therefore, the cultural hub can supply me with a diverse community, enabling me to gain an education in and outside of the classroom. NYU can also help me pursue my academic interests, especially in studies on human development and behavior through the core curriculum and fieldwork. Majoring in applied psychology at Steinhardt can also allow me to minor in art history, a more recent interest taken up through summer classes on the subject. NYU holds a special place in my heart. I've seen its iconic torch emblem around the city and in my own home for as long as I can remember.

I NEED A TRANSITION HERE ON WHAT I CAN PROVIDE NYU I'm the friend who takes a cab from the end of East Houston, to Soho in order to buy snacks and school supplies for others, then back to the East River Park to watch their soccer game. I'm the person who travels from Elmhurst, Queens to Park Slope when a friend is in need of a hug and a burrito. Every Thursday after school, I take a different friend out for waffles just to get to know someone new every week. I treat my friends like my 4 siblings, close and cherished. I've been told to be the physical manifestation of Bill Withers' "Lean on Me." I'm culture, community and family oriented, which is an attribute I can use to contribute to NYU's campus. I can also take advantage of the lessons I have learned through my participation in the Random Acts of Kindness Club, as well as the Young Democrats Club, in order to create close, inclusive groups and enact change.

I'm working on this one too and I'm having trouble with it. (I'm about to post mine so I'd love if you could look at it.) Good luck!

I like your beginning where you talked about your experience on campus. I'd talk more about your personal experience with the school when you're explaining what NYU can offer you. Do you know someone who goes/went there? Have they said something about the school you agree with? Something like that. I also talked about some of NYU's weirder programs, like their exploration floors. You can be on a floor with a lot of geeks or history nerds. I thought that was pretty cool and unique.

For my transition, all I did was start a paragraph with "I can offer NYU..." I don't know if there is a good way to transition between the two subjects. This paragraph is great. the only thing I'd change is writing out the number four. You write out numbers less than 10. Other than that, it looks good to me.

thanks!