Help? Please share any of your constructive criticism. Tear it upppp :) Thank you in advance. Word count: 530 I need to cut down 30.
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.
"Please stand and profess your faith." Simultaneously, everyone stood and began reciting the Nicene Creed. "We believe in one holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church..." After I proclaimed that, it hit me. Was there sincerity in the words that I was declaring?
I was born and raised into a faithful Catholic family, never questioning any beliefs and teachings of "my" religion as I grew up. I attended catechism as a child and confirmed my Catholic faith when I was fifteen. After confirming my faith, I thought that was the end of my journey in finding my own religion, but little did I know that it was barely the beginning.
I've always held a close bond with my parents, but despite how supportive they've been throughout my whole life, I didn't know how open-minded they would be with my doubts about the Catholic Church. I was afraid to voice my opinions because I feared that they were going to think that I was just falling on the wrong "path." At first, I thought that maybe I shouldn't pay attention to the questions that arose in my mind because it would seem that I doubted God. However, my feelings in opposition to my Catholic faith grew stronger and I felt something very different in my heart.
In my journey away from the Catholic Church, I was able to stand on my own, without the help of my Catholic community. I eventually realized that the Catholic religion became a norm for me. I was neither happy nor depressed about it, but I was comfortable. Being Catholic was what was convenient for me and being at ease was what became important. The people that I always had behind me were no longer there and I had to cope with my problems on my own.
This has shaped my dreams and aspirations because I no longer settle for something that I am comfortable with. Throughout the past two years, I have watched myself grow more independent and mature. I've realized that it is okay to challenge the ideas around me and that I should continually do that. More importantly, I've realized that being different is good. During this process, I was able to rationally break away from my family to form my own ideas while respecting theirs. Although at times I was discouraged by the different situations going on around me, I was able to keep going and trust, acknowledge, and follow God and his goodness.
It is a growing spiritual journey and I am still learning. This challenge that I had to face alone has not only helped me become a stronger person, but has also forced me not to look for the easy way out. With this said, although I am undecided about which major I want to take in the Math/Science department, I am not discouraged by how challenging those classes are going to be. I've become more independent and no longer need hand holding. I was able to find my footing on my own, and will surely be able to do that in the near future. I will go after my hearts desires, even if they don't reflect that of everyone else.
You have already told us about yourself in the Common Application, with its list of activities, the Short Answer, and the Personal Essay. While we leave the topic of your second essay entirely up to you, try telling us something about yourself that you believe we cannot learn elsewhere in your application. Please limit yourself to fewer than 500 words.
"Please stand and profess your faith." Simultaneously, everyone stood and began reciting the Nicene Creed. "We believe in one holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church..." After I proclaimed that, it hit me. Was there sincerity in the words that I was declaring?
I was born and raised into a faithful Catholic family, never questioning any beliefs and teachings of "my" religion as I grew up. I attended catechism as a child and confirmed my Catholic faith when I was fifteen. After confirming my faith, I thought that was the end of my journey in finding my own religion, but little did I know that it was barely the beginning.
I've always held a close bond with my parents, but despite how supportive they've been throughout my whole life, I didn't know how open-minded they would be with my doubts about the Catholic Church. I was afraid to voice my opinions because I feared that they were going to think that I was just falling on the wrong "path." At first, I thought that maybe I shouldn't pay attention to the questions that arose in my mind because it would seem that I doubted God. However, my feelings in opposition to my Catholic faith grew stronger and I felt something very different in my heart.
In my journey away from the Catholic Church, I was able to stand on my own, without the help of my Catholic community. I eventually realized that the Catholic religion became a norm for me. I was neither happy nor depressed about it, but I was comfortable. Being Catholic was what was convenient for me and being at ease was what became important. The people that I always had behind me were no longer there and I had to cope with my problems on my own.
This has shaped my dreams and aspirations because I no longer settle for something that I am comfortable with. Throughout the past two years, I have watched myself grow more independent and mature. I've realized that it is okay to challenge the ideas around me and that I should continually do that. More importantly, I've realized that being different is good. During this process, I was able to rationally break away from my family to form my own ideas while respecting theirs. Although at times I was discouraged by the different situations going on around me, I was able to keep going and trust, acknowledge, and follow God and his goodness.
It is a growing spiritual journey and I am still learning. This challenge that I had to face alone has not only helped me become a stronger person, but has also forced me not to look for the easy way out. With this said, although I am undecided about which major I want to take in the Math/Science department, I am not discouraged by how challenging those classes are going to be. I've become more independent and no longer need hand holding. I was able to find my footing on my own, and will surely be able to do that in the near future. I will go after my hearts desires, even if they don't reflect that of everyone else.
