Please help! I feel like I haven't said enough since my word count is so low. Is there anything I need to add to make it stronger? Is there a better way to rephrase a sentence in order to make it sound better? I would appreciate any criticism or advice, thank you!
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
I have young hands. Having taught myself the piano at the age of five, I had great difficulty in trying to comply with the written standards of the traditional piano. Naturally, I felt imposed by the structural orientation of my piano classes. I felt it limited me from discovering my own creative potential and defied the very definition of "musical expression." Composers like Haydn, Debussy, and Chopin used a foundation of techniques within their musical period to innovatively create their own songs; so why was I being taught to stray from the path that led to their musical success? Although the passages of intricate notes is genius written on paper, I knew it is the musician who coaxes them to life. I knew that if you were to replace one pianist with another, "Moonlight Sonata" would sound identical. This lack of individualism pushed me to produce pieces of interest and draw my pride simply from my own accomplishments. With that, I was determined to embrace my individualism and to incorporate pieces of myself and my perceptions into the music I created.
From that, I took to experimenting as I paired written melodies with arpeggios and harmonies of my own creation. I never played a song the same way twice. After composing an array of musical pieces and teaching myself four more instruments, "juxtaposition" seemed to become the theme of my musical creations. Pairing a ukulele melody with a violin seemed uncivil until I somehow pulled it off writing a rendition of Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles. I could no longer constrain this self-discovered passion and joined a small musical club in middle school. From that day on, I played the piano during lunch and after school with a group of friends I made. We eventually merged as musicians and expanded into genres like indie, funk, and rock. All these genres juxtaposed each other but we described it as "subjectively good music." Although we parted ways after I changed school districts, the universal language of music never failed to connect us whenever we met up.
Over the years, the evolution of my relationship with the piano has mirrored my own inner growth. I have acquired a lifestyle of discipline and internalized the drive for self-improvement. Music is not just my chosen lifestyle, but a representation of my need to innovate. Indeed, determination takes ideas far, but true success comes from the ingenuity and generation of my thoughts. The piano has been my vessel for self-expression and has fostered my disposition to deviate from the status quo in all aspects of my life. It is this instrument that served as my solace, an escape from the mundane activities, and the place where the generation of my thoughts collided with my passion for music. Though my mind has matured over the years, my childish enthusiasm has remained at my very fingertips
Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Young Hands
I have young hands. Having taught myself the piano at the age of five, I had great difficulty in trying to comply with the written standards of the traditional piano. Naturally, I felt imposed by the structural orientation of my piano classes. I felt it limited me from discovering my own creative potential and defied the very definition of "musical expression." Composers like Haydn, Debussy, and Chopin used a foundation of techniques within their musical period to innovatively create their own songs; so why was I being taught to stray from the path that led to their musical success? Although the passages of intricate notes is genius written on paper, I knew it is the musician who coaxes them to life. I knew that if you were to replace one pianist with another, "Moonlight Sonata" would sound identical. This lack of individualism pushed me to produce pieces of interest and draw my pride simply from my own accomplishments. With that, I was determined to embrace my individualism and to incorporate pieces of myself and my perceptions into the music I created.
From that, I took to experimenting as I paired written melodies with arpeggios and harmonies of my own creation. I never played a song the same way twice. After composing an array of musical pieces and teaching myself four more instruments, "juxtaposition" seemed to become the theme of my musical creations. Pairing a ukulele melody with a violin seemed uncivil until I somehow pulled it off writing a rendition of Eleanor Rigby by The Beatles. I could no longer constrain this self-discovered passion and joined a small musical club in middle school. From that day on, I played the piano during lunch and after school with a group of friends I made. We eventually merged as musicians and expanded into genres like indie, funk, and rock. All these genres juxtaposed each other but we described it as "subjectively good music." Although we parted ways after I changed school districts, the universal language of music never failed to connect us whenever we met up.
Over the years, the evolution of my relationship with the piano has mirrored my own inner growth. I have acquired a lifestyle of discipline and internalized the drive for self-improvement. Music is not just my chosen lifestyle, but a representation of my need to innovate. Indeed, determination takes ideas far, but true success comes from the ingenuity and generation of my thoughts. The piano has been my vessel for self-expression and has fostered my disposition to deviate from the status quo in all aspects of my life. It is this instrument that served as my solace, an escape from the mundane activities, and the place where the generation of my thoughts collided with my passion for music. Though my mind has matured over the years, my childish enthusiasm has remained at my very fingertips