Hello, I am new to this forum. I plan on attending UT in Austin in the Spring of 2015. I have been kind of stumped on my essays. I have typed up something for my Topic A essay: "The statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey."
this is what I have, I was wondering if anyone could be courteous and read over it.
Statement of Purpose
At a younger age, the idea of me doing well in school was unheard of. My academic history was not something I am proud of, yet in these past years I have matured and become a well-disciplined student with the ambition to excel in my studies. Currently I am attending school at Temple Junior College, and I plan to graduate with an Associate in Applied Science in Biology Fall of 2014. The study of life has always been a fascinating subject to me, and I am looking forward to continuing my studies in my hometown, Austin, Texas. Throughout my life I have experienced many things that have helped shape me into the person I am today.
In 1991, both of my parents migrated to the United States in search of a better future for their children. Throughout my life I witnessed my parents work hard to provide for my three siblings and I. My parents often emphasized the importance of working over getting an education. I began to work at the age of thirteen, in my family's restaurant. Some people may see this as a bad thing, but I have learned to see the positive side of things. Beginning to work at a young age really taught me how to work hard to reach my goals. In 2012, I received my Associate in Applied Science of Automotive Technology; this was a great accomplishment for me. I began to work in the field of my studies, yet I found myself being complacent and unsatisfied with life. After a year of working at an automotive repair shop, I decided to quit and pursue my dream of becoming a doctor.
Being very active in my church, Life Ministries, has also persuaded me to continuing my studies. Being both the worship and youth leader has blessed me with the love for knowledge. My desire to be a positive role model for my youth group makes me strive for excellence. Prior to my ministry work, I would often find myself watching television or playing video games, yet now I find myself reading books and studying. I began to retake courses at Temple Junior College, since my grade point average was a 1.8. I now find myself having a 3.2 GPA, and I project to have a 3.5 by the end of Fall 2014. I strive to one day receive my doctorate in medicine and become part of the organization Doctors Without Borders.
I am grateful for all the blessings I have had in my life, from entering the workforce at a young age, to developing great ethics through my ministry work. I have learned that success is inevitable if I continue to work hard and stay focused. I look forward to one day being part of the longhorn family.
this is what I have, I was wondering if anyone could be courteous and read over it.
Statement of Purpose
At a younger age, the idea of me doing well in school was unheard of. My academic history was not something I am proud of, yet in these past years I have matured and become a well-disciplined student with the ambition to excel in my studies. Currently I am attending school at Temple Junior College, and I plan to graduate with an Associate in Applied Science in Biology Fall of 2014. The study of life has always been a fascinating subject to me, and I am looking forward to continuing my studies in my hometown, Austin, Texas. Throughout my life I have experienced many things that have helped shape me into the person I am today.
In 1991, both of my parents migrated to the United States in search of a better future for their children. Throughout my life I witnessed my parents work hard to provide for my three siblings and I. My parents often emphasized the importance of working over getting an education. I began to work at the age of thirteen, in my family's restaurant. Some people may see this as a bad thing, but I have learned to see the positive side of things. Beginning to work at a young age really taught me how to work hard to reach my goals. In 2012, I received my Associate in Applied Science of Automotive Technology; this was a great accomplishment for me. I began to work in the field of my studies, yet I found myself being complacent and unsatisfied with life. After a year of working at an automotive repair shop, I decided to quit and pursue my dream of becoming a doctor.
Being very active in my church, Life Ministries, has also persuaded me to continuing my studies. Being both the worship and youth leader has blessed me with the love for knowledge. My desire to be a positive role model for my youth group makes me strive for excellence. Prior to my ministry work, I would often find myself watching television or playing video games, yet now I find myself reading books and studying. I began to retake courses at Temple Junior College, since my grade point average was a 1.8. I now find myself having a 3.2 GPA, and I project to have a 3.5 by the end of Fall 2014. I strive to one day receive my doctorate in medicine and become part of the organization Doctors Without Borders.
I am grateful for all the blessings I have had in my life, from entering the workforce at a young age, to developing great ethics through my ministry work. I have learned that success is inevitable if I continue to work hard and stay focused. I look forward to one day being part of the longhorn family.