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"Youth connectors of future" Program by Swedish Institute.



Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Feb 1, 2017   #1
Questions: Please describe the platform( e.g. engagements, networks, experiences, skills, drives, goals) from which you have the ambition to contribute to the development of your local/regional society.

note: the essay needs to cover within 1200 words , i wrote only 700 . so feel free to add anything. Thanks.

Answer:

challenges and problems in Bangladesh



As a citizen from a developing country, I witnessed lots of challenges and problems of my community while working for this community and its people. I have worked with several foundations and organizations to help or contribute to the society directly and I have seen how people are deprived of human rights, how they are lacking of basic needs and how they are suffering poverty. By those time as a youth of this county I committed to bring a change in my local community and in the nation as a whole. But as am a student I can't just change the base structure and supper structure but my contribution will significantly help the development of my local or regional society. I figured out some mainstreaming challenges of my society and set my goal to stand up against it.

In the regional areas of Bangladesh people are illiterate, not even aware about the human rights thus deprived of it, in some case even they don't have access to entitled food for them. I discovered this circumstances of my county while working with "Sadon Sarker Foundation". We usually go to some rural places of Bangladesh and teach them some basic lessons e.g. (Family planning, human rights awareness etc.) and as the incentive of their participation we deliver some cloths or money among them. The hardest part is to see, the way they are rushing toward us for this cloths or money because they are not even able to buy a blanket. When a youth see this kind of condition of his or her county, there is no other option for him or her without contributing to the development to bring the change.

Children are significantly deprived of their rights in Bangladesh. Children are very significant and bride future for a county. But when they are lacking of proper food, education, shelter it seems like the county doesn't have any future at all. This realization drives me to focus on ensuring the children rights of our county. For that I start working with "Youth against hunger" and "Aronne full" and experienced that even in the capital city children are not having proper education and suffering from malnutrition. The statistics of "Youth against hunger" shows that the number of street children in Dhaka city is increasing day by day. Another common circumstances of my county is "child labour" which I have seen both in urban and rural areas of Bangladesh. Going through all this daily suffering and misery of children, I feel like I really need to fight for children rights because children are assents and future of a nation. Unless we ensure their rights, a generation without backbone will be created. Government already took several steps to ensure children rights but without youth like us and without our collaboration it's not possible.

Women are major part of a society because social structure build up with the contribution of both men and women. While working as a research fellow for a research on gender stereo types of Bangladesh, I found women especially rural women are just as a piece of breathing creature and in some point they are treated like an animal. In Bangladesh most of the women aren't aware about their rights. Women subordination is high because of patriarchal society. In city the scenario is changing a bit but not significantly. While collecting the data I had the opportunity to talk with rural women directly about their circumstances. Women are deprived of education, self-esteem, awareness, accessing own decision and assets etc. Moreover the patriarchal tradition creating the subordination situation for women. This scenario of my county made me concern about women's right and their empowerment because human equality and human rights are the key for the sustainable development of the society

For the development of a nation only its authority or government can't be liable. I believe every citizen especially the youth has the capacity to contribute for the development of a nation. For a youth contributing to the social development is must. Youth has the capacity to be a change maker and bringing change within the society, change is development. The challenges and problems of my community or my overall nation has promoted and motivated me to become a committed contributor for the development of my society and bringing change.

maitouyen1 8 / 18  
Feb 1, 2017   #2
Hi!I am not good at english but i can give you some advise. First of it ,you have some grammarical problem . For example , shelter it seems like the county doesn't have any future at all . You shoild use such as in stead of like . But as am a student I think you should not write am .In city the scenario is changing a bit but not significantly . May be you should use comma after in city. Your ideas are clearly but you need to explain to us why Women are major part of a society because social structure. I can understand what you really want to say but i think you shoul express that idea liithe more clearly . For example , Marie curie who devoted her life to sience or another famous woman . Or can you give us the example such as the nam or how old the youth who did achievmet when they was young . I think your concept is really good but you need more obvious example
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Feb 1, 2017   #3
Shamsher, it would be best to immediately open the essay by presenting the first foundation that you worked with for the betterment of the community. I believe that it is best that you use that format because the first paragraph that you have is a redundancy of the information that you present for each individual organization that you spent time volunteering with. So, rather than fill the essay with repetitive content, it would be best for you to instead, present the specific cause that the organization relates to, your work with them, and your future plans, on an individualized basis. Then, in your closing statement, make a collective declaration of a united ambition that you have for your country that you hope to achieve through your work with those and more foundations in the future. That makes the essay close on an impressive and strong message.
OP Shamsher sing 3 / 9  
Feb 1, 2017   #4
Thanks Holt. Am so glad for your help. I hope you remember me. I was a UGRAD applicant. Ya i was selected as a semi-finalist but unfortunately failed to make it for interview. Anyway i need to write 7 more essay for this program. I hope you will help me for that too. i will comment down below after i finish each because cant open a thread for each. I hope its ok with you.
aravee - / 1  
Feb 2, 2017   #5
@Shamsher sing
The line from the second paragraph "Predominantly ... poverty" is quiet wordy. Try to break it into simple and smaller sentence are make sure it is concise. This might ease the flow of the paragraph. The Paragraph even contains Sentence Fragments "When an individual or group of people experience poverty over extended period of time" as well try , instead of full stop to provide the user the continuation of sentences.


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