unreasonable expenses
Advertisement is promoting people to pay money for numerous goods whether they are in need or not. While I accept that this may cause negative effects to the customers' financial status, I believe that many worse problems can come up if products are no longer advertised.
On the one hand, the result of mass advertising makes people spend almost all their monthly income or long-term savings on luxury goods. That the promotions about owning expensive watches, necklaces, rings and chains appear on most social media considerably entice them to purchase such jewelry. According to a global survey in 2015, 60% women in the world answered that they always lacked money after paying for their bijou to look successful and gorgeous because of appealing advertisements.
On the other hand, without any promotion, national economy will be significantly degraded and a part of citizens' life will become boring. Firstly, the revenue of almost every company will sharply fell, resulting in the national economic problems, because their products may not be known and purchased by the customers. Apple is a prime example, which has always held press conferences to promote their new gadgets before putting them on the market a few months later. Secondly, the main income, which comes from the sponsors, of almost TV channels and video makers on online platforms will disappear. Consequently, there may be no TV programs and online videos for people's entertainment demand.
In conclusion, it is certainly true that the spending of some purchasers may not be reasonable due to the power of marketing, but this is by no means that people around the world will have to face with serious issues from banning advertisements.
1. A national economy ... degraded, and a part ... (do not forget to put comma and article in noun single)
2. I do not find an explanation about why without ad a part of citizens' life will become boring
1- First reason does not make sense. I think, The idea of "advertisements persuade people to spend their savings" is a drawback for advertisement.
2- Second reason should be well developed, and you should explain that without advertisements TV will no longer be able to make entertainment programs, because they will lose their sponsors.
Holt Educational Consultant - / 15384 Phuc, the main problem with your essay is the incorrect approach that you took to discussing the prompt topic. This is a simple agree or disagree essay. As such, you are required to pick only one side to discuss, develop, and support within your 4 paragraph essay. This is not a comparison essay because you are not being asked to "discuss both opinions" so you made a mistake in your discussion format. This is a single opinion essay, nothing more.
Your prompt paraphrase does not respond to the given question. This is not about what you believe, it is about whether you agree or disagree with the given statement. Therefore the response expected from you is as easy as "I disagree" or "I disagree" with the discussion. The closing thesis sentence should be "... based on a few / number of reasons".
The whole essay discussion does not connect with the given prompt. Your discussion is off in a different direction from the original prompt. That is why this essay cannot expect to receive a reasonable final score had this been an actual test. Familiarize yourself with the various discussion requirements for Task 2 essays and make sure you write your next essay in the correct format. There are more than enough samples at this forum for you to review to help you accomplish that.
I am so glad that my essay received such enthusiastic supports. I am a newbie and really appreciate those from you.
Thanks
Also, purchases are just an important part of life. Money makes the world go round. If no one bought anything no one would have jobs and no one would get money. It is with the same money we spend that other people are bale to make a living out of and with other peoples expenses we are able to make money. Even advertising is a ob for some people