Advertising has too much influence on what people buy?

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Advertising has too much influence on what people buy.
The today's world is the competition era. Regarding this matter, many businesses and companies are investing on the advertising and focusing on customer's absorbing. Hence, the effect of advertising on the type of goods which people buy is undeniable. Not only does advertising help people become acquainted with products, but also it changes the mind of customer.

One of the primary causes is that advertising provides an ambiance in which people can be able to get familiar with a new product. It is obvious that nobody buys the thing which does not know. If one does not know a product exists, how can he feel the need to have it? Advertising is the bridge between company and customer. Being aware of a product, the person thinks about it and consequently feels a need of wanting it. Moreover, even though the person is noticed of a product somehow, observing there is no name of it on advertisement; he cannot trust its validity.

There is another factor that deserves some words here. Advertising has the strong potential to change the people's perspective and beliefs. Many psychologists assert that by the way of advertising can persuade a person to buy a product unlike his willing. They also explain some ways that how to influence such amazing. Both repeating an advertisement and using the popular persons on advertisement are the strategic ways based on psychological reasons. When an audience watches an advertisement over and over, after a while he or she accept that product, although the first visiting time she or he has not had a good intuition toward that goods. All the psychological efforts are the best evidence why advertising is strongly influential.

By taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, it can be deduced that because of paying attention to advertisement; people select their goods. Even using this remarkable effect, governments can enhance the people's culture and decrease the crime between nations by advertising.

->The modern world is an era of competition: it sounds more familiar to me


Firstly, I replace on by in because according to the Oxford dictionary, 'invest on sth' means you want to make sth better than their present state. In this case, I think you mean that companies take advantage of advertising to earn profit, thus 'in' is more suitable. Secondly, we usually use the phrase customer aweraness instead.



I'm sorry butI have no idea of the function of 'in' in this sentence.


You lack a subject here. In addition. 'that' is used in a dependant clause instead of which.


I am so disconcerted to understand this clause.



I think a common should be at the position of the semi colon.
These are all of my opinions of your essay. I hope we will have further discussions about these points.

I did not see you present a clear thesis statement here. Please check it





This is verbose. Simply write: In conclusion,
For the next essay, it is always good to leave one line when opening a new paragraph, so it is easy to recognize the how many paragraphs are constructed.

Hence, the effect of advertising on the type of goods which people buy is undeniable => I thought this sentence is the thesis statement, isn't it?

By taking into account all the aforementioned reasons, => I used this sentence to increase the number of vocabs because for TOEFL I need to write more than 300 vocabs. What's your idea? do you have any suggestion?

Thanks for your correction!