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For advice: Account of my experience


tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 20, 2008   #1
(pls. help me pick up strange collocations. I think some collocations are awkward, but not sure. pls. help)

My three years in senior high school has witnessed my participation into various activities, but the most impressed goes to April 2007 when my class, 06IB(2), designed and prepared for "Annual Award Ceremony for Honor Students". It is significant for me because it contributed much to my patience, thoroughness, responsibility and resolution.

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EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Nov 20, 2008   #2
"My three years in senior high school have witnessed my participation in various activities, but the most impressed goes to April 2007 when my class, 06IB(2), designed and prepared the "Annual Award Ceremony for Honor Students". It is significant for me because it contributed much to my patience, thoroughness, responsibility, and resolution.

My class was responsible for the whole operation of that event and I took the job of preparing thescenesWhat do you mean by "scenes"? Do you mean backdrops for the stage? , decorations and flowers. Since it is just a student activities, we are short of fund.Since this was a student sponsored activity, we were short of funds. I had to manage to buy what we needed within the limited budget. I almost fell into despair when I found myself so inexperienced; I did not know any cloth manufacturer or florists;how was I to complete this task within the given time? Facing such difficulties, I did hesitate, but I finally convinced myself to live up to my classmates' expectations . I tried to find as many cloth manufacturers as possible and compare their prices; none were to my satisfaction. Fortunately, one of my friends' parents dealt in theclothing business, so I tried to communicate with them, but they were not very interested in us because the price we could offer was too low for them. Finally, I came up with the idea that we would provide them with an opportunity to advertise on our campus. They eventually agreed to sponsor our activities with the clothes we needed.

This successful purchase built up my confidence but the transportation of the clothing put me into another dilemma. How could I arrange transportation? After wandering around the market for an hour, I came across a small florist shop. I negotiated with the boss and finally he agreed to deliver both flowers and the clothes to us.

During the whole process, I came to realize the importance of patience in communication. In addition, I also realized only persistence can lead us through difficulties until we reach the final success. All the benefits I reaped from this experience can accompany me all my life and help to prove me a valuable asset."

Very nice job! Some mechanical corrections, but your meaning and content are great. Keep up the hard work!
OP tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 20, 2008   #3
thank you, Gloria. I will improve my writing according to your revision.
I have another question: what is the difference between temperament and disposition? What I want to express is: a person who has practiced paiting, drawing or playing piano for years has a ??? which other people may not have.

great thanks!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Dec 9, 2008   #4
what is the difference between temperament and disposition? What I want to express is: a person who has practiced paiting, drawing or playing piano for years has a ??? which other people may not have.

Oh, that is an interesting question! In common usage, "temperament" suggests emotion, and ability to control one's temper, whereas disposition is very broad, and means something like your "attitude toward" something. You would write, for example, "The meditative and often solitary experience of playing the piano, with narrowed focus and tranquil mind, refines the musician's temperament from one session to the next." Temperament is better. However, the true definition of "temperament is different, and it involves genetic traits as they manifest in the personality... so, it is not quite right. You could write:

"The meditative and often solitary experience of playing the piano, with narrowed focus and tranquil mind, refines and deepens the musician's consciousness from one session to the next."


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