Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 4


'advice from immature people' - about making decisions



canyouhelpme 2 / 8  
Nov 22, 2012   #1
Before making a decision, it is important to find out if the decision will be popular with others.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------

When considering a solution at times it is necessary to consult many people. However, personally, I disagree with the assertion that decisions making should be based on popularity. This opinion is based on the ideas such as decision based on others consent; solution leading to utter confusion; and voluntary solution is the best.

First, I believe that basing decision on the grounds whether being accepted by other could lead you to a disastrous solution. Consider, for example, that some might feel it's not important to send children to the best school as it is expensive. If you agree with this statement then your son or daughter would never get the best education. We know that education is the best investment for any person. As this stays throughout their lifetime and would help a person in one or the other ways. In spite of, you knowing this if you believe others, who have never got the taste of good education, you might risks future life of youngsters. If there is any doubt then rather than taking advice from immature people it's better to consult an expert in the area, who would be better to guide you.

In addition to the issue of decision based on others' thoughts, I feel that considering many people on a single question would lead to confusion. There is a saying that many head on one problem might lead to confusion. This correctly applies to every situation, decision making by managers at a MNC or at home where all the family members might fight with each other to make a simple choice. Managers are trained not to commit this mistake so they put only specific number of people in a project. Even at home elders will ask only a few people, whom they think are the best to solve a problem. For example, at home if there are some items to be purchased for decoration, then only women in the house make this decision. Thus, decision making should not be given to many people to increase the muddiness of the situation.

Finally alongside the issue of having decision making by taking others' help and thoughts by many leading to confusion, I think that decision making is a voluntary process which should not be manipulated as it can stress a person. When we ask a child about his best chocolate then we get an instantaneous answer. Some parent might suppress this by showing eye or by beating their child as they think chocolates are not good for health. In this case, child would never ask for his favorite chocolates and would link chocolates with a feeling of fear. This would be detrimental to the cognitive development of this child. Hence, applying force to change a choice can lead to a sever problem which relates back that a choice selection should be based on voluntary actions.

My consideration of the issue of decision making based on popularity has explored factors such as taking help from others, solution leading to confusion, and decision making a voluntary process. These considerations led me to disagree with the blanket statement that decision making should be a based others opinion rather than on one's own selection.

dumi 1 / 6795  
Nov 22, 2012   #2
It is better if you could post the exact topic for this essay... As it is seen, I guess you are preparing yourself for TOEFL or IELTS.

This opinion is based on the ideas such as decision based on others consent; solution leading to utter confusion; and voluntary solution is the best.

This is not constructed properly and therefore it does not give your idea to the reader. Try and re-phrase : )

First, I believe thatbasing decisions based on the grounds whether being accepted by other could lead you to a disastrous solution.

My suggestion;
First, the decisions that are made collectively can sometimes lead to disastrous results.

I think you need to pay more attention on improving clarity of your sentences.
OP canyouhelpme 2 / 8  
Nov 22, 2012   #3
Dumi, what do you mean by improving clarity of the sentences. Could you please please make it more explanatory with errors ? This would really help me. My toefl is exam is near.
dumi 1 / 6795  
Nov 22, 2012   #4
Well... what I mean is that your sentences do not convey the idea clearly. This happens when you include too many ideas in one sentence. For example;

Finally alongside the issue of having decision making by taking others' help and thoughts by many leading to confusion, I think that decision making is a voluntary process which should not be manipulated as it can stress a person.

I find this sentence is too long and not properly organized. So it confuses the reader and make him tired of remembering things to follow your idea. Try to make simple and clear statements. They are more conceivable and the reader likes less work : )


Home / Writing Feedback / 'advice from immature people' - about making decisions
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳