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Task 2 IELTS, AIMS OF UNIVERSITY ARE FOR GETTING JOB OR BENEFITING INDIVIDUAL AND SOCIETY



Shinigami97 10 / 16  
Oct 31, 2013   #1
Many people believe that the main aim for university education is help graduates to find better jobs, while some people believe that university education has wider benefits for individual and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Currently, education is said to be one of the crucial factors in affecting individual's career, moreover, the developing progress of country. Thus, higher approach to this major, particularly, university level, means the more earnings obtained, whilst the benefits are not only for the ideal jobs, but also for both personal life and society in much broader way. The essay below will discuss both aspects of this issue.

To begin, it is true that university will provide better opportunity for students to be employed in the quality company, leading to the fact that their income would certainly increase. Due to the development of economics, the demands on individual needs would also rise, so the high-paid salary may sustain these requirements. Hence, the graduation certificate of the university would be students' qualification for being fully prepared to improve their future career prospects and life as well, furthermore, attracting to potential employers.

On the other hand, university education would also provide many advantages for individuals and society. Firstly, more opportunities for students to fulfill their lives through improving life skills when living away from home, which are independence and maturity. Secondly, the economic growth is from the creation of knowledge and increasing in stock of graduates who are able to implement new processes and technologies into the economics. Thus, university has played vital roles in improving the life's standard of students and in progressing the country's wealth.

To conclude, it is clearly seen that the main aim of this kind of education is to increase the possibility for graduates to be applied for their jobs. However, if university attendance is encouraged and promoted, there will be more benefits for students' lives and the society.

Hope will receive your valuable backup !

phalemuonmau - / 1  
Oct 31, 2013   #2
Many people believe that the main aim of university education is that it helps students to find good jobs (while some people believe that university education has wider benefits for individual and society) this sentence have some problems , you should say that many people agree ... In contract ... . Discuss both views and give your opinion.In my view , ....

Currently, It is said that education is one of the most crucial factors in affecting individual's career and the developing progress of country. Thus, higher approach to this major , particularly, university level means the more earnings obtained, whilst the benefits are fornot only the ideal jobs, but also both personal life and society in much broader way. The essay below will discuss both aspects of this issue. ( both ... and .... )

To begin, it is true that university will provide better opportunity for students to be employed in a good company, leading to the fact that their income would certainly increase. Due to the development of economy, the demands on individual needs would also rise ???? , so the high-paid salary may sustain these requirements. Hence, the graduation certificate of the university would be students' qualification for being fully prepared to improve their future career prospects and life as well and attract to potential employers.

On the other hand, university education would also provide many advantages for individuals and society. Firstly, Having opportunities for students to fulfill their living through improving social skills when ( wrong grammar) living away from home, which are independence and maturity. Secondly, the economic growth is from the creation of knowledge and increasing in stock of graduates who are able to implement new processes and technologies into the economics. Thus, university has played vital roles in improving the life's standard of students and in progressing the country's wealth.

To conclude, it is clearly seen that the main aim of this kind of education is to increase the possibility for graduates to be applied for their jobs. However, if university attendance is encouraged and promoted, there will be more benefits for students' lives and the society.

you made a lot of errors ...><'' you should learn grammar
MisterWandering 18 / 314  
Oct 31, 2013   #3
Currently, education is said to be one of the crucial factors in affecting individual's career, moreover, the developing progress of country. Thus, higher approach to this major, particularly, university level, means the more earnings obtained, whilst the benefits are not only for the ideal jobs, but also for both personal life and society in much broader way. The essay below will discuss both aspects of this issue.

You make your introduction too complicated and then difficult to follow. It is better if you write in a simpler tone, for example:
It is true that there has been an increase in the number of people deciding to pursue higher education. In my opinion, not only does it help people with better employment opportunities but it also benefit both individuals and society.

The essay below will discuss both aspects of this issue.

This sentence is not necessary.
vmtct 6 / 7  
Nov 1, 2013   #4
Maybe your fundamental problem here is over-complicated sentence structure that leads to grammatical mistakes or confusing in meaning. Hopefully you will make progress of your work.


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