Hi Nermeen,
there are several suggestions,
I personally believed That
redundant expression
adapt with it and know that
it should be = adopt
you should put a coma appropriately.came true , I had
faculty for me" . Also , I
because , my father
support me a lot .
faculty of my dream a lot " Mass communication " .
you should put a coma appropriately.It was one of those golden moments in my life finally, my dream neared to came true , I had got very good marks in high school .which made me believe that I will apply to the faculty of my dream a lot " Mass communication " .
Whats more, in my opinion, as an introduce paragraph, it is not really necessary if you start your sentence with "it". if you do this, you seems to do not have strong argument. furthermore, your essay would be read ambiguously. I tend to be convinced that the readers of your essay would confused with your introduce sentence. The possible question is = "it refer to what", whereas you already have put a tittle above your essay.
As a consequence, this is my suggestion for you :
1.) in the first paragraph you can use it as introduction which is contained by the main points of your essay. You can put wise words as well, to make your essay more interesting to be read.
for example =
I am strongly believed that everyone is an architect of his fortune. This perspective has encouraged positively my self to do the best thing during my lifetime. Furthermore, it stimulates me to do more efforts to catch my dreams and my goals. Fortunately, I have reached a few number of my goals and my dreams. One of those cases is happen several years ago when I was a student in senior high school. I had got an excellent point in my school and I had became one of the best students when I was graduated from my senior high school. It leads me to pursue confidently my long-term goal which become mass communication expert in the future. Therefore, I would like to apply mass communication subject in your institution, as it a bridge to go to my long-term goal.
KEEP SPIRIT, KEEP STUDY!