WRITING TASK 1/ THE AMOUNT OF ELECTRICITY PRODUCED BY DIFFERENT ENERGY SOURCES TO SUPPLY NY CITY

energy from coal, natural gas and petroleum

The given line chart illustrates the total quantity of electricity came from various types of energy sources, which was used to serve the needs of New York City during a twenty-year time from 1980 to 2000. It can be seen that while both the amount of eletricity produced by petroleum and natural gas experienced an upward trend, that generated by coal decreased slightly. More notably, the highest figure in the graph was more than 700 millions of kilowatt hours of electricity made by petroleum and the quantity of power developed by natural gas went through the most significant change.

From the starting point of the timeline, the amount of electricity formed by petroleum was approximately 350 millions hours, which was the largest figure. In another hand, that figure of coal was about 200 millions hours and the lowest figure went to natural gas of 100 millions hours.

After 20 years, the quantity of power developed by natural gas rocketed to more than 500 millions of hours, grew by 400 millions hours. The total hours of electricity profuced by petroleum also experienced a considerable rise to 700 millions, despite an dip from 600 millions to less than 400 millions in 1990. However, the hours of power generated by coal declined slightly to nearly 200 millions hours, after increased moderately to 300 millions hours in 1985.

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The presentation is over analyzed. This caused you to write more than the suggested 175-190 words. At 224 words, you have written almost the minimum word count for the Task 2 essay. That leads me to assume that you wrote this essay at almost 40 minutes time allotment instead of the 20 minute specification for this task. Such a long presentation also means that you did not have the time to review, edit, and finalize your content to adhere more to Task 1 specifications. I found 17 errors in your essay covering LR, Grammar, C&C, and spelling errors. Had you written the proper word length and focused on cleaning up your essay from errors, you would not have made that many mistakes, which, when combined, will have the potential to prevent you from achieving a passing score.

For the task 1 essay, say more with less words. Focus only on the presentation of the obvious data, with an analysis thrown in at least once. Twice if possible. You need to use less words because of the time limitation. Go over that time limitation and you will run out of time to complete the more complicated Task 2 essay writing test.

Thank you so much for the feedback. Writing is my weakest skill and I will try to improve in my essay next time