GRE Argument Issue; A nation should require all students to study the same national curriculum

Hi,
I would like a feedback regarding my essay; grammar-wise, vocab use, context addressed, and analytical writing. Score estimates are also very welcome :)

Question

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss your views on the policy and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider the possible consequences of implementing the policy and explain how these consequences shape your position.

Response

Standardization of curriculum is oftenly a hot topic between teachers and academicians. The government's concern to make sure that students are qualified to enter college is one of the reasons why this will be a never-ending discussion. Nevertheless, having students study the same curriculum until entering college has more negatives than positives.

First, the hope that studying the same curriculum will perfectly prepare students for college may be wrong. Of course minimum standards on general subjects will be good, but colleges may differ on their concentration of studies. For example some colleges focus on technology whereas another has manufacturing as its focus. The variety of concentrations means that different understandings are required by future students, depending on their college preference. By having an established same curriculum througout the country, students will not have variety of subjects to deepen their understanding for planned future studies. A student who is interested in medicine may not need advanced mathematics. While engineering students may need a strong background in mathematics, but not really need understand advanced linguistics.

Another point that should be considerd is every students have different characteristics, thus different potentials. A boy may have strong interest in sports and applied mathematics, while his friend has more interest in biology and theoritcal mathematics. Implementing same national curriculum will make the first boy develop well. On the other hand, his friend will be leaved with unfilled potential as his interests are not included in the curriculum. Therefore, a diversed curriculum will be better to fulfill the potential of both children.

Schools nowadays may have different standards as there are the so-called favorite schools. A favorite school in Los Angeles can attract smart students where the majority will have a strong financial background. This condition will support the availability of more quality educators. On the other hand, a school in Hawaii may only have local students and the teachers employed though good do not stand on the same level with the Los Angeles teachers. Favoritism of schools will have an impact on teachers available, as higher-standard schools will employ more qualified educators. In these circumstances, having a same national curriculum may prove to have more disadvantages as not all teachers will be willing to accept national standards.

For certain subjects curriculum standards are necessary, but implementing same national curriculum throughout may be unwise. As explained above same national curriculum has more disadvantages. Unless the government develops solutions for the problems stated above, same national curriculum should not be implemented.

Your potential score for this essay is a 3. The low score is based on the grammar, logic, and sentence formation problems that exist in the presentation. Your discussion is inconsistent and does not follow a logical flow of thought. When you speak of a student inclined to study medicine, and a student interested in engineering, both students require advanced math education. Therefore, your argument becomes flawed and incorrect.

The favoritism of schools has no relation to the standard curriculum discussion. Your opinion does not show how the school favoritism system is connected to the discussion of a uniform curriculum. This discussion is unrelated to the topic, making it an irrelevant detail in the presentation.

You failed to clearly explain the reasons why you do not support a uniform curriculum. Your logic is flawed. You did not understand the actual requirements of the topic for discussion before you wrote the essay. It would be better if you read some sample GRE essays before you try to write another opinion paper. Familiarize yourself with possible discussion topics and how the previous students approached the discussion first. Then try to write your own take on the topic. That should help improve your logic and discussion flaws.