You have just arrived in a new city where you are studying English - write letter to a friend

You have just arrived in a new city where you are studying English
Write a letter to an old friend. In your letter
- explain where you are and why
- describe where you are staying
- describe how you have been enjoying yourself.

Dear Ellyta,

Hello Ellyta, how are you? Are you okay? I really miss you. Now I live in Pare and study English here. I live with many people from various types area of Indonesia. I settle in camp English Studio.

I live with the landlady. Where the owner of the house is very kind and friendly. In there the owner opened food stall.
I stay in Davinci camp, the place is very comfortable, I sleep in a large room with a single mattress. In the bedroom, there are many paintings that adorn the house, because the landlady is an artist.

Last week I went to Malang city, I rode by motorcycle. The way is awesome because views of the hill are outstanding. After that, I stopped to rest and enjoy the beautiful city. I was so happy to visit the Malang city use the motorcycle for the first time, and I am very enjoyed here because I feel like my home.

I would really like to hear from you. Write back soon.

With love

Edgar

Hi Dipa.
These are my suggestion to finalize your letter.

I settle in A camp OF English Studio.

I live with the landlady OF THE CAMP. Where FORTUNATELY, the owner of the house...
In there BESIDES THAT, the owner opened food stall.
I HAVE stayED in THE Davinci camp, the place WHICH is very comfortable, .
... many paintings that adorn the house, because the landlady'S HUSBAND is an artist.

Last week, I went to Malang city, I rode by RODING A motorcycle. The way FROM PARE TO MALANG is awesome because ...
... happy to visit the Malang city use WITH USING the motorcycle for the first time, and , ON THE ONE HAND, I am very enjoyed ...

Hi Dipa,

Apart from the above-mentioned feedback that focus on grammatical range and accuracy. I would like to focus on the content of your letter. Thus, the detailed descriptions below are my contribution towards your letter. I hope you can follow through

- First, mentioning "how are you?" has adequately covered the "greeting" part in a letter. This is a good approach in the beginning part of the letter itself. However, it is unfortunate that you've added "are you okay?" after that greeting. You need to remember that asking "are you okay?" means that if someone has done something that may caused injury. For example, when you've slipped in a football game, and your friend ask you "are you okay?" instead of "how are you?" . Therefore, using "are you okay?" in greeting part of a letter is inappropriate.

- Second, be careful of composing a sentence, especially a complex sentence. Remember, an accurate sentence should have at least 1 subject and 1 verb. An accurate complex sentence should consist more than 1 clause and connector. Missing one of them would make the sentence inaccurate and it would badly damage the final score of your letter. Just be more careful in the next practice later on.

Hope this helps :)