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Asian countries in terms of the proportion of population living in cities - [Ielts cambridge 18]


loitoiphoi 1 / -  
May 9, 2024   #1
Question: The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Please tell me if I have any mistakes with this writing and what band I will get? Thank you.

"The line graph compares four Asian countries in terms of the proportion of population living in cities between 1970 and 2020, along with projections for 2030 and 2040.

Overall, it is apparent that the percentage of population living in cities in all of these countries will likely increase, with Malaysia representing the greatest growth. These patterns will continue into the future.

In 1970, roughly 32% of the population of the Philippines lived in cities, while the figure for Malaysia was 30%. Malaysia then witnessed a substantial increase, at 75% by 2020. Meanwhile, the Philippines experienced a fluctuation between around 32% and 45%. The proportion of city dwellers in Thailand and Indonesia were considerably lower, accounting for nearly 20% and approximately 13% respectively in 1970. There was a dramatic increase in the population living in cities in Indonesia, reaching 50% by 2020. Thailand followed the same pattern, but at a slower rate, reaching 30%.

The projections indicate that the percentage of city dwellers in all four Asian countries will keep rising. By 2040, Malaysia is expected to represent the highest proportion of population living in cities, surpassing 80%, followed by Indonesia with 60%. Both the Philippines and Thailand are also projected to see a considerable growth, with cities holding about 55% and 45% of the population respectively."



Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,919 4799  
May 17, 2024   #2
When you write the summary overview, always remember that you will tend to gain more points when you create a detailed summary. That means, you should have enumerated the 4 countries in that section instead of just mentioning the number of countries involved in the presentation. Such a detailed explanation will also allow you to create a better understood trending statement. Your summary overview is good, but it could have been better.

the Philippines experienced a fluctuation between around 32% and 45%

When did this happen? You should be specific. There are dates involved in the image presentation, use it to be very coherent and cohesive in your discussion presentation.

The projection report is good. It works and serves the purpose. When you write this essay though, there is no need for you to use quotation marks. Just write it as you would any essay or opinion paper. There is no need to quote the information. This is not a formal, academic research paper.


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