IELTs Task1: The bar chart shows University subjects chosen

statistics about the numbers of students choosing some university subjects

Task 1: The bar chart below shows the number of students who chose certain university subjects in 2005. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

My writing:
This analytical report will deal with the statistics about the numbers of students choosing some university subjects in 2005 mentioned in the given bar chart. Each subject was considered as a group to be described, and they were also divided by gender. It can be read from the chart how many thousands of male and female students choose a particular subject.

The interests of students in mentioned subjects were not the same. Each subject received the different number of choosing students in the two genders.
As for male students, their levels of interest in different subjects were different. The subjects which had the least numbers of male participants were Languages and the Arts, with the number were about two thousands and three thousands, respectively. The subjects received the greatest interest of males are sciences and mathematics, each of them would be attended by about twenty thousand males. The four remain subjects, which were Humanities, Social Sciences, Literature and Law, seemed to bring quite good enjoyments to male students; from more than ten thousand to more than fifteen thousand of men would take part in classes of each of those subjects.

The levels of interest of female students in the subjects were diverse but different from the male students. Being opposite to the very small of males choosing to study Languages, it was the second most popular subject to be chosen by females, with about eighteen thousand attendants, that was about nine-time larger than the one of males. Social sciences seemed to be the most interesting subject for females, with nearly 25 thousand females studying. While Mathematics ranked the second in the top of interested subjects by males, this subject received the least interest by females when only less than five thousand of them choosing it.

There was one subject having the similar number of male and female attendants, which is Humanities. There were more than ten thousand of students in each gender choosing to study it.

P/S: This is my writing for IELTs Task 1. I hope you can give me some comments and help me to estimate my score. Thank you very much.

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I don't know u are using "seem" which is usually not okay in any IELTS writing :) because I've heard that "seem" is an informal word. Secondly, in IELTS Task 1, "seem" is considered as a "showing-expression" word :) ( idk if I use that word correctly :) ) which are showing feeling expressions and of course that is not okay :) in the IELTS task 1

So that what I know :) !

I can tell that you took great pains to write this essay clearly so that you came up with 327 words. While you did manage to increase your scoring potential through clarity in the presentation, I am worried that in an actual test, when you have to write this on a pen and paper basis, plus the need to review, revise, and edit your essay on the spot, you may not be able to perform this well.

There is a reason that you need to be able to write a complete analysis within 275 - 300 words. Like I said, you need to consider the actual writing environment when doing the practice tests. I dare you to write 327 words for a Task 1 essay within 20 minutes the way you did with this essay. If you can do it, then go ahead and keep writing long essays. I know for a fact you did not use a timer when you wrote this essay and you did not review and revise your written work before submission because the errors in direct relation to the GRA scoring considerations are clear in the essay. You did not manage to spot and correct these errors.

While this type of presentation, without consideration of time constraints and word count would garner you at least a 6.5 in scoring potential, I am not going to score this essay based on the existing scoring criteria because I know this is an unrealistic presentation of the illustration analysis on your part. You did not follow the required time format for writing this essay. This type of writing is good for written language practice, not good for an IELTS essay. You need to practice under the correct exam setting or you will not be able to properly perform during the actual exam date.

I took the TOEFL and the GRE a few days ago, and I don't have much of an idea as to how the IELTS is graded, but based on the sample essays which I have viewed so far, which have received perfect scores, the essays typically have the following format:

1. Your opening paragraph should state what the question asks and what your essay is going to be about.
2. The next paragraph should contain your analysis. Break up your analysis into three points. In each of your analysis do the following:
a. State the trends which you observe. Be as clear and concise as you can with this.
b. Mention the exact figures, like percentages or values, which are mentioned in the text or passage or image. Spend a line or two per figure.

c. [Optional. Do this only if they ask you to] Come up with reasons for the observation in Step 2.a.
3. Conclude with a paragraph which restates all the trends.

This will easily help you reach the word limit within the given time constraints.

@Dang Khoa
I don't think "seem" is unusable in IELTS writing.
- "seem" is an informal word: I suspect it as many example essays contain it, and it even appears in some expressions like "it seems to me that".

- showing feeling expressions: I'm not sure but I don't think there is any problem with this because it can be used to describe a trend that is shown in the graph (similarly to when we use "tend to").