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Beginning formal school in early childhood is not a wise decision



angga93 42 / 60  
Apr 1, 2016   #1
In some countries, it is thought advisable that children begin formal education at four years old, while in others they do not have to start school until they are seven or eight.

In many nations, children is often suggested to attend formal school in early age. Meanwhile, some countries allow children to join formal class after they reach 7 years old of age. I firmly agree that starting formal study at a very young age is not a wise decision as it influence the student's personality.

In some countries, 4 years old children normally go to school. It is because the society believe that their kids will be benefited by thismanner. First of all, they argue that young brains can absorb virtually everything effectively so that students who begin school at earlier age will achieve higher level of understanding compared to their older counterparts. Not only that, by being formally educated it the early childhood, the opportunity of being employed in a prestigeous institutions will be raised. The cause is the younger students begin their formal education, the wider range of in-depth knowledge they learnt. However, this case had bad influence on the children's characters.

Childhood is a crucial stage in human development as in this state, young people receive the greatest amount of new experience and information in their life. It is because their ability to communicate with others is developing, and huge curiosity fuelled it. Thus, it is better for the youngsters to be educated formally, by teaching them moral values and ethics which are very useful for their lives instead of facing them with formal education. If children begin to learn formal subjects in their childhood, they will have less time to learn about human ethics. This will results in highly educated people without sense of community. It is a common knowledge that this kind of people is harmful for the societydue to their tendency to get benefits for themselves as much as possible by unacceptable ways. All in all, it is clear that children are better educated formally at older age because they will have much time to learn abou moral.

In conclusion,it is clear that although beginning formal scool in early childhod will results in impressive level of understanding, their moral education is less developed than those who starts school at older age. I believe that moral and good sense of community is more imporant than formal education subjects.

ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Apr 1, 2016   #2
Angga, keep in mind that each paragraph of your essay needs to have at least 3 sentences in each before it can even be considered acceptable by the examiner. The idea is to have you present a complete thought and understanding of all the aspects of the idea you were provided. By limiting yourself to only 2 sentences per paragraph, you fail to display your ability to express yourself in the English language, which is a major component of the scoring system. So the following still needs work.

In conclusion, it is clear that... I believe that moral... I hope in the future...

Now, for a breakdown of your grammatical errors, with corrections applied.

children is often

are

it influence the student's personality.

influences

a prestigeous institutions will be raised

prestigious institutions / a prestigious institution

than those who starts school at older age

start

Unfortunately, spellings are actually the things that you have to reduce it as low as possible, or make it even there is no spelling errors. I am afraid that it will be your habitual mistakes in the future, so please be more aware.

spelling errors, (thismanner - this manner), (societydue - society due), (abou - about), (In conclusion,it - In conclusion, it), (scool - school), (childhod - childhood), (imporant - important).
La Baso 15 / 21  
Apr 3, 2016   #3
children is are often suggested........ or "a child is often ....." often ....."

it influences the student's personality.

It is becausedue to the fact that the society believe.....(better way to use those words :) )

overall, your writing is completely amazing. to make it more perfect, you should notice spelling errors itself and the rules of singular and plural. keep writing. :)


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