Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 7


The best aspect of the job is the money one earns



hamedmas 27 / 48  
Sep 29, 2012   #1
There are too many aspects for choosing a job such as future, income or job satisfaction. However the future or the satisfacation of a occupation is very important, but the crucial issue is income of a work. Money is an vital demand for living which obtain from a occupation.

Salary of work is very imortant to choose a job for many reasons. Money can improve our satisfaction of life or it can increase out purchasting power. Moreover, buying new equipment needs money as well as studing abroad needs money. Because of these reasons and many other resons, the most important aspect for a job is the money person earns.

Also future of a job is very important for everyone because it causes to improve your ability to do new job. Many of the jobs do not develop your ability for doing a new job or do not increase power of your mind. If people do not consider this aspect for choosing a job, they will not to work individually.

Job satisfaction is very essential to choose a job. Many people try to alter their job, because they want to have an enjoyable job. Many job have a inflexible condition such as working in ocean or working in a terrible weather, but these jobs give you much money.

In conclusion, however many parameter for choosing a job such as future and job satisfaction which everyone consider but income is more effective aspect of the job for one.

OP hamedmas 27 / 48  
Sep 30, 2012   #2
This is a an essay for TOEFL degree. Please help me to solve my problems in writing.
Thanks so much.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 661  
Oct 6, 2012   #3
U did not wrote the topic, so I cannot say anything about the organization of the essay. However, if the topic is an "agree or disagree" one, you should write your opinion at the end of the introduction. You should also work on grammar and vocabulary. In addition, pay attention to the unity of the essay.

Hope the comments help
Regards
Ahmad
Heina 5 / 14  
Oct 7, 2012   #4
You should try to change the inclusion. It is too long and the structure is maybe not good.
P/s: Ahmad, I like the way you correct the mistake. It is very careful. Can you help me with my essay soon? Thanks
OP hamedmas 27 / 48  
Oct 7, 2012   #5
ah_zafari
thanks so much for taking the time for me
sillyxo 1 / 3  
Oct 7, 2012   #6
end with a powerful sentence.
chadenlabiad - / 3  
Oct 7, 2012   #7
Change the ending make the ending more subtle and intriguing


Home / Writing Feedback / The best aspect of the job is the money one earns
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳