The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise age limit for the younger drivers and to lower age limit for the aged ones.Do you agree?
Nowadays,with the soaring number of private[i]vehicles, an increasing number of adolescent drivers tend to trigger the traffic accidents. Many people hold the view that all these driwers must be faced to pass a safe education course befor getting the driver license in order to diminish the traffic accidents. Personally, I am in broad agreement with this view concerning the following aspects.
By and large, owning to their lack knowledge in regard to traffic rules and lack practical experience,there is no shadow of doubt that youngster drivers are more inclined to trigger the road accidents. In the course of attending in the driver license course they will get acquainted with the traffic signs and road rules that the lack of these knowledge often presents as the main reason of road accidents.
Apart from the lack of appropriate acknowledge, there are other factors that contribute to the high incidence of traffic accidents caused by young drivers.That is to say that,completing the driving course and gaining driving license doesn't yet represents as a solid solution to the existing problem. Having youthful bravado and inexperience in the hazardous situations, young drivers still remain as the potential offenders by infringing road regulations.That is the exact reason that,why I strongly believe that the age limit for the young drivers should be raised.
When it comes to the mitigating the age of the adult drivers, from my point of view ,the age of those have nothing to do with the soaring incidence of road accidents. Because of the experience of the year under their belt,they are less likely to represent as offenders of road accidents. Furthermore, the sense of responsibility is higher in aged drivers, rather than recklesness youngsters.
To conclude,based on the arguments mentioned above,I entirely agree with the raising the age limit for the teenagers who wants to get driver license. By doing so,there is a strong likelihood that, we can afford to alleviate the booming number of road crashes,committed by teenager drivers.[/i]
Almara, I think that this essay still needs a lot of works regarding to grammatical and punctuation problems. I would like to point out all that I can find and describe it below. I hope you find that my feedback and contribution are helpful towards your writing development.
1st paragraph:
- Nowadays, with the soaring number of private... (space needed after comma)
- ...that all these driwersdrivers must be faced to pass a safe education course beforbefore getting thedriver's license...
2nd paragraph:
- ...owningowing to their lack knowledge in regard...
- ...lack practical experience, there is no shadow... (space needed after comma)
3rd paragraph:
- ...accidents caused by young drivers. That is to say that, completing the driving... (these sentences suffered from 'space' / punctuation problems)
- ...gaining driving license doesn'tdoes notyet represents as a solid solution to the existing problem yet .
- ...road regulations. That is the exact reason that,whywhy I strongly...
4th paragraph
- ...in aged drivers, rather than recklesnessrecklessness youngsters. (spelling problem)
As you can see, punctuation is the major problems in this essay. I hope you can notice the rest of it in this essay after you follow through my feedback above. Good luck for that :)
... I entirely agree with the raising the age limit for the teenagers who wantswant to get driver license.
... we can afford to alleviate the booming number of road crashes, committed by teenager drivers.
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Hi, Almara, I agree with ichanpants89 that you may need to work carefully on your spelling and grammar. I just picked some of them here.
Hi Almarra, first of all WELCOME to the Essay Forum Family, it's always fun to welcome, yet another member of this not only fun website but even more so, an educational way to be on the internet and not just linger around.
Now, as I read along,I must say that the introduction has been written fairly well, however, the succeeding paragraph, seemed to missing its substance, substance that is needed to make the essay stand out. Here are my insights;
- Personally, I am inbroad agreement with
- this view,concerning the following the aspects below .
- By and large, owning to their lack of knowledge
- inwith regards to traffic
- rules and lack of practical experience,
- youngst er drivers are more inclined
- of attending in theattended by drivers
- to get their license
- course they will get acquainted with the
- thatwhere the lack of
There yo have it Almara, as you can see, there's still quiet a few enhancements to be done in your essay, I hope you follow through.
I think the age limit should be in italics form for better understanding.
Hi Alara, personally I think it is better to make your argument direct and clear. So I did a little re-write of your second paragraph. Hope it will help you:)
By and large, owning to their lack knowledge in regard to traffic rules and lack practical experience,there is no shadow of doubt that youngster drivers are more inclined to trigger the road accidents.
By and large, I firmly advocate that young drivers are more likely to cause the traffic accidents due to their limited knowledge of traffic rules and little practical experiences.
In the course of attending in the driver license course they will get acquainted with the traffic signs and road rules that the lack of these knowledge often presents as the main reason of road accidents.
By studying these traffic rules carefully, young drivers will not only improve their security awareness, but also let them know the importance of complying with the law.
Furthermore, I strongly suggest that the structure of your supporting paragraph should look like this: a personal opinion + a specific example to support your opinion. In this way, it will make your argument more persuasive and convincing.
