Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents job



robotics 1 / -  
Jun 11, 2013   #1
Question: It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents job than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents jobs.

==================

Each person need to have job to continues his life either physical or psychological. Thus, every one must make decision for choosing job in some part of his life. Some people think that children should have same job as their parent While others people think conversely. The both groups have their reasons. It is wise that children select jobs that are different from parents job in the most cases. dissimilar jobs can help children, parents, and society.

mainly, everyone has his own nature. In narrow condition, the nature of a child is not same with his parent. The features of one has directly relation with performance of job. Therefore the performance of a child in a job is not equal with the performance of his parent in same job. So if children want to have high performance, they must have dissimilar job.

Moreover, parents usually want that their children have more success than their own self. Consequently they evaluate their child at all situation. Indeed one thing that all parent have high sensivity is their child's job. if their child has same a job, probably their mind is more busy with evaluating how their child do their job for two reasons. first reason is that they thing same job is equal success and not upper position. the second reason is that they completely now the job, so they can compare their self with their child easily.

Last but not least, society need different job in different time. In during time, some jobs make useless and some job make useful. For example, horse keeper was a normal job and a lot of people work in this field; nowadays thinking for having this job is funny. therefore changing new job for child is reasonable. also some job are harmful for society. So it is wise that children select another job such as killer.

To wrap it up, in the most position, difference job between parents and children is useful. Human nature, parent's expectation, and society condition make it necessity.

sogeily 2 / 5  
Jun 11, 2013   #2
The entire first sentence doesn't make sense, it should be reworded in some way.The point you made in your second paragraph is refutable. You say if a kid wants to be more successful than their parent then they must have a different job. But a parent may be the CEO of a important company while their kid may decide to have a different job of being a server at McDonalds. So you see, different does not necessarily mean better. You also need to check a lot of you grammar, go back and capitalize evferything after a period.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jun 12, 2013   #3
I guess you are preparing for IELTS or TOEFL. It's better that you mention the purpose of your writing so that you get more relevant comments. Also, you should post this type of essays under "Writing Feedback" forum.

Some people think that children should have same job as their parent Whilewhile others people think conversely.

The both groups have their reasons. It is wise that children select jobs that are different from parents job in the most cases.

.... connect these two lines. That helps improve presentation of your idea;
Although both groups have their own reasons, I believe that it wiser to have children doing different jobs than their parents.

mainly, everyone has his own nature.

.... even during your practice sessions, make sure you start sentences with capital letters. Otherwise you might make the same mistake at the exam too.

In narrow condition, the nature of a child is not same with his parent.

narrow condition? It sounds confusing :(
In many instances, the child's interests and talents are very different to those of his parents.


Home / Writing Feedback / It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents job
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳