Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 5


Better to Investing more in public services rather than space programs? IELTS Task 2



jocelyn wang 3 / 6  
Jul 18, 2019   #1
The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?


is Space Exploration a waste of resources?



As the progress of high-tech, the governments subsidize growing amounts of money on space exploration. Some people think rather than wasting money on it, the authorities should invest more in public services. As far as I am concerned, space projects are taking an equally important role as public services.

Needless to say, there are plenty of apparent benefits of putting efforts on public services in our daily lives. Most of us receive compulsory education on campus and visit the doctors in the hospital whenever we suffer from the illness. Besides, we go to these facilities most likely by public transportation. The public services provide a certain standard of living quality for the member of society. And from citizen's points of view, they can observe easily that where and what their taxes are spent on.

On the other hand, it is definitely worthwhile to allocate the funds on space research, although it is thoroughly burning out money. Firstly, it is essential to the developed countries that not only being cutting-edge over the world but also demonstrating the power of the military in terms of self-defense. Secondly, some people might think the space programs seem to irrelevant to our life, in fact, it guardian us secretly. For example, we can be informed about the weather forecast and be secure under the surveillance of the satellites. Finally, the discoveries in the process of space missions might be applied in other fields, and consequently improve our current technology and provide a better future life.

In conclusion, as long as the governments allocate funds wisely, those two issues should be invested and perceived equally. (268words)

I'm sitting an exam soon, it would be nice to have some advices.

Dang Khoa 11 / 41  
Jul 19, 2019   #2
wow very nice idea, when i first look of your essay and u say both are equal, i thought u wrong but no, the ideas that u state for the space stuff is very firm and strong, it is just undeniable :). Basically u have done a good job in your essay. However, there are some mistakes like *guards*(v) not *guardian*(n). Be secureD not be secure.

Hope this help u :)
Maria - / 1096  
Jul 20, 2019   #3
@jocelyn wang
Hello there. I'll provide you with additional writing feedback.

I'll say well-done for the general flow of the composition. Your writing is put-together and portrays everything in such a clear and meaningful manner. Keep this up! I would only suggest attempting to apply writing techniques that will help you curate sentences that are more put-together. Try to create smaller chunks of text, making your content hold more substance throughout its composition.

In terms of your usage of examples, it can be improved if you can focus more on articulating with clarity with more concrete examples. Doing this will help you in the long-run when it comes to substantiating with depth.

Best of luck as always.
OP jocelyn wang 3 / 6  
Jul 23, 2019   #4
@Maria
Thank you, I will try to work on it. :)
nguyenle 1 / 2  
Jul 24, 2019   #5
it is good and i have learnt a lot of complicated words from your essay


Home / Writing Feedback / Better to Investing more in public services rather than space programs? IELTS Task 2
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳