Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2


A breakdown of the average temperatures per month and the length of sunshine in hours per annum


Ilmi_03 47 / 69 11  
Sep 2, 2016   #1
The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.


A breakdown of the average temperatures per month and the length of sunshine in hours per annum is depicted in line graph and table. The data is from three capital cities in the world. Overall, it is noticeable that, in the exception of June to September, Sydney experiences the highest temperature during the year. What is more, New York and Sydney have many more sunny periods than Sydney.

Between January and March, the temperature in Sydney is roughly 26, higher than the other two cities. However, it falls gradually over the next four months to finish at 16 in July. London and New York follow a similar pattern, beginning the period just under 10 and 5 respectively, than increase steadily by 25 and 10 six months later. Unlike Sidney which witnesses a recovery at 20 eventually, both cities decrease significantly to under 10 at the rest of period.

There is not a huge gap in the number of sunshine for New York and Sydney. At 2,535, New York is the greatest number of sunshine period. Meanwhile the figure for Sydney is slightly lower by around 100, London become the least at 1,180.



huonggdng 2 / 1  
Sep 2, 2016   #2
... per annum is depicted in ( the ) line graph and table. The data is ( collected ) from three capital ...
Overall, it is noticeable that, in ( with ) the exception of June ...
... and Sydney have many more ( more ) sunny periods than Sydney.

... four months to finish ( hit a low of ) at 16 in July.
Unlike Sidney (,) which witnesses a recovery at ( to ) 20 eventually, both cities ...
( the city cannot decrease, it is the temperature )

... huge gap in the number (amount ) of sunshine for ...
... lower by around 100, London become the least at 1,180. ( sunshine cannot be measured so we use amount instead of number )

Comment: attempted to group the sectors, although quite clumsy. Be careful of countable vs uncountable noun. the range of grammar and vocabulary are limited, too many repetitions. Confusion between the real subjects. Keep trying!


Home / Writing Feedback / A breakdown of the average temperatures per month and the length of sunshine in hours per annum
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳