A breakdown of the percentage of people going to the cinema in UK according to different age groups

A breakdown of the percentage of the people going to the cinema in UK according to different age groups between 1990 and 2010 is presented in the line graph. Overall, UK cinema was dominated by people aged 44-54. Despite of the fluctuation, almost all figures showed nearly same patterns.

In 1990, the middle age people (34-44) and the oldest one stood at fairly similar proportion. This accounted for around 35%, while other age groups were fewer than 30%. By 2010, however, there had been some significant changes. The most noticeable one had been presented in the gap between the age group of 34-44 and the elderly people. It had widened out from 1% to about 8%. Meanwhile, the other figures had showed a less marked difference.

A closer look at the 2000, virtually all categories hit a low. The youngest group was by far the fewest, accounted for more or less 12%. Then, all of them rose significantly until the end of period. But the figure of people aged 24-34 stagnated at roughly 32%.

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This is good. Yet, I prefer writing such a sentence, like: more people aged 44-45 went to UK cinema

- Despite of thesome fluctuationswith the visitor numbers rising and failing twice during this time period , almost all figures showed nearly same patterns.
- at A fairly similar proportion
- the other figures had showed a less marked difference.discrepancy in proportions
- The youngest group was by far the fewest, accountedACCOUNTING for
- Then, all of them rose significantly until the end of period. B ( a comma) but the figure of FOR people aged 24-34 showed a sign of stagnatingstagnated at roughly 32%.

... to the cinema in THE UK according to different age groups between THE YEARS 1990 and 2010 ... THE UK cinema ... nearly THE same patterns.

In 1990, the middle age people (34-44) and the oldest one
- What is the age group of the oldest one? Always indicate the information from the chart. This is supposed to be an informative report.

... stood at fairly similar proportionS. ...while other age groups
- Again, indicate the age group. You are not really offering much information in this report and could lose points for it.

... gap between the age group of 34-44 and the elderly people . It had widened out from 1% to about 8%. ... A closer look at the year 2000 showed that , virtually ... the fewest, and accounted for more or less 12%. ... significantly until the end of the period. But the figure of people aged 24-34 stagnated REMAINED THE SAME at roughly 32%.