Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Burgeoning economic growth effect. Problem and solution essay.



Sirojiddin 1 / -  
Jul 19, 2017   #1
In recent years some countries have experienced very rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country side. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole.

What are these problems?
How might they be reduced?


rapid economic development and issues



Although burgeoning economic growth improves the standards of living in the country as a whole, it affects the countryside and cities of the country unevenly. This , in turn, results in both high unemployment rate and difficulties for young people to pursue better tertiary education in the countryside. In this essay, these problems and viable solutions by the state will be discussed.

Notably, one of the major problems people in countryside face is unemployment. Due to the fact that people living in cities tend to consume more products and demand more services than in the countryside, business companies and large factories are built inside the city. This results in difficulties for people to find a job in the rural area. Obviously, they have to migrate to the urban areas in search of better job opportunities. Undoubtedly, crime rate is increased with high unemployment rate simultaneously. Having no opportunities to find a job people start committing a crime to make a living. In order to reduce an unemployment rate the government should force national and international business organisations to establish their factories in the countryside. By doing so, more places in the workforce are created.

Another problem young people in the countryside face is mastering a high-quality academic degree. Since prestigious colleges and universities are situated mostly in developed cities, youth from remote areas of the country come to the cities to study at universities and face variety of problems. For instance, they have to spend a lot of money on renting accommodations while studying at universities. Moreover, qualified tutors and members of academic staff do not want to live in the countryside due to the shortage of basic facilities for people available there. To solve this problem the state should invest in tertiary organizations and improve standards of living in the countryside .

In conclusion, providing facilities unevenly may result in the high unemployment rate and substandard education in the countryside. If actions mentioned above are taken by the government, problems can be reduced.

utsi 4 / 7  
Jul 20, 2017   #2
@Sirojiddin
Your introductory paragraph is good enough to secure a good score in your examination.
Except for some problems in the sentence structure like crime rate is increased with high, others are convincing.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15385  
Jul 20, 2017   #3
@Sirojiddin it would be best if you can separate your discussions into the manner indicated in the discussion instructions. That way you can show a clear understanding of the instructions provided. So by presenting 2 problems first and then 2 solutions next, the essay will be better outlined for the examiner. By the way, you are focusing on a government solution to the problem when that is not indicated in the original instructions. Always reflect the information that is in the original prompt. Do not represent information that is not required. The solution that you should have presented could have been worded in a manner that could have been implemented by either a government or civilian institution. A general discussion / reference is always best.

You must also be conscious of the required sentence and paragraph elements for this essay. Do not write more than 5 sentences and do not develop more than 5 paragraphs, 3 of which will be the body paragraphs. Even with these observations, I will acknowledge that you developed a very good essay that shows off your English comprehension skills.

You show a clear understanding of the prompt requirements, but made a slight mistake in the discussion that could be overlooked by the actual examiner but I had to point out for your improvement. This is a good essay on its own. You did good work but have room for improvement. I hope that I will see a reflection of the suggested improvements in your next practice tests.


Home / Writing Feedback / Burgeoning economic growth effect. Problem and solution essay.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳