Exercise: In many cities people seem don't know about their neighbors and therefore lack a sense of community. Causes and solutions?
The truth is the more developed the world's economy is, the more dwindling people's community spirit are. It's seem that in modern life, everyone just need a occupation, an apartment, some friends and forget neighbours, especially in cities. My essay will shed light on the problems people are facing in an effort to create a better life and solutions suggested
Firstly, business from the job is one reason why people become more indifferent to neighbours who live right next to their house. According to the data of Oxford university's scientists in 2008, the average of bedtime of a person living in large cities decreased by 7 hours and 15 minutes, including Saturday and Sunday. Very tired with the work, people just know their boss and their colleagues and they are very passive in the relationship with neighbours. As a result, people in many cities seems like Robinson in their own house
The second reason why citizens in many cities have low community spirit by dint of many entertainment equipment with high-speed connectivity. Nowadays, thanks to fb, yh, yt and so on, we don't have to go out but we can make friends and speak with many other citizens in other cities in the world. A lot of smartphones such as Iphone, Samsung Galaxy with large application stores are so attractive that users aren't ready to spend time to neighbouring people
In my view, the best solution to tackle these problems is that the local governments should encourage to establish clubs in each street such as running and shooting clubs, hym singing clubs in churches, travelling clubs. Thanks to them, neighbours can take the chance to meet each other and the their sense of community will be grown significantly. Besides, these clubs will contribute to help people having peaceful minutes after tense work hours
In conclusion, busy work and modern entertainment equipments are two main causes that make people lack the community spirit. Local clubs are a effective prescription to cure this disease thoroughly
Exercise: In many cities people seem don't know about their neighbors and therefore lack a sense of community. Causes and solutions?
The truth is the more developed the world's economy is, the more dwindling people's community spirit is .It seems that in modern life, everyone just needsan occupation, an apartment, some friends and forget neighbours, especially in cities. (I would look at the past sentence and maybe make it a little less complicated... It seems that in modern life, all that people need is an occupation, an apartment, and some friends. If living in cities, there is no need for neighbors, right?- that's just a suggestion) My essay will shed light on the problems people are facing in an effort to create a better life and solutions suggested (My essay will shed light on the problems stated and how to solve them to create a better life.)
Firstly, business from the job is one reason why people become more indifferent to neighbours who live right next to their house. According to the data of Oxford university's scientists in 2008, the average of bedtime of a person living in large cities decreased by 7 hours and 15 minutes, including Saturday and Sunday. Very tired with the work, people just know their boss and their colleagues and T hey are very passive in the relationship with neighboursdo not pay much attention to any neighbors. As a result, people in many cities seems like The Robinson in their own house. Explain why..
The second reason why citizens in many cities have low community spirit by dint??? of many entertainment equipment with high-speed connectivity. Nowadays, thanks to fb, yh, yt and so on(spell them out...) , we don't have to go out but we can make friends and speak with many other citizens in other cities in the world. A lot of smartphones such as Iphone, Samsung Galaxy with large application stores are so attractive that users aren't ready to spend time to neighbouring people
In my opinion , the best solution to tackle these problems is that to make the local governments should encourage to establish clubs in each street such as running and shooting clubs, hym singing clubs in churches, travelling clubs. Thanks to them , neighbours can take the chance to meet each other and the their sense of community will be grown significantly. Besides, these clubs will contribute to helping people having peaceful minutes after tense work hours
In conclusion, busy work and modern entertainment equipments modern technology are two main causes that make people lack the community spirit. Local clubs are an effective prescription to cure this disease thoroughly. (I don't know if you want to say this is a "disease"... maybe think of another metaphor?)
All in all, I think you should reaaaally revise this some more. It could be a lot better. May I ask, how old are you and why are you writing this essay? Oh and sorry I'm really bad at all these font things so I hope its not too complicated to understand what I was trying to help you with.
You should write about the 2 causes in 1 paragraph, don't seperate them in 2 different ones.
Also, in the rubric, it is ''solutionS'', so think of at least 2 solutions.
In the conclusion, you have to paraphrase the rubric before summarising what was in the body, and it would be better if you could add a prediction at the end, like If we do A, we'll be able to B.
Best
