Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width   Posts: 3


Case of a Loan for a Jazz Music Club in Monroe City; GRE Argument essay



GREASPI 4 / 8  
Jul 7, 2013   #1
GRE Argument Essay:
The following was written as a part of an application for a small-business loan by a group of developers in the city of Monroe.

"A jazz music club in Monroe would be a tremendously profitable enterprise. Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself. Plus, jazz is extremely popular in Monroe: over 100,000 people attended Monroe's annual jazz festival last summer; several well-known jazz musicians live in Monroe; and the highest-rated radio program in Monroe is 'Jazz Nightly,' which airs every weeknight at 7 P.M. Finally, a nationwide study indicates that the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment."

Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument
.

I am doubtful about the profitability of Jazz music club in Monroe city. Following are my view points:

The very first thing, the developers state is that there is no music club within the 65 km radius of Monroe city. This only cannot assure the profitability of the proposed music club, as we have to look into various aspects like the cost associated the city of Monroe, the entry fee that the club owners are going to structure etc. Moreover, profit also depends on the revenue generated, which solely depends on the attendance. As it is a universal truth that the quality of music and value of service, added by the Monroe club will be the factors deciding the people's turn out. Thus one cannot conclude that merely being the only jazz music club in the city is not a reason for the success of this intended project.

Second thing, which the proposers are citing is the hit of annual jazz music festival in last summer. Considering the fact the festival is once in an year, it is understandable that not only the people of Monroe but also people from the surrounding places might have attended the event. Also, as it happened before twelve months, it is not necessary that the people will prefer jazz music over others. Hence, we are not sure about the current state of mind of the residents of the city.

Third point, which the promoters are bring to fore is the availability of well known jazz musicians in the city. This is surely a positive sign of resources, but this does not have to do with the mindset of public. They may or may not like jazz music. Further, what if there are more numbers of jazz musicians in the nearby city? and what if they are more prominent than the Monroe city musicians? Monroe city residents will never mind in travelling 65 miles for a better music.

The next thing, which seems to be helping the case of jazz music club in Monroe is the highest rated jazz music program in radio, relayed in weeknights. This fact itself is rather a misleading, as we do not know how the ratings were given and who rated this. Also, if the jazz music program is the highest rated program, what about the other programs? what if they are very dull and not at all followed by listeners. Hence the very term 'highest rated' is not at all coming to rescue the project. Now for the argument's sake, let us assume that the rating is indeed true. With a widely followed jazz program on every night, there is no reason for anyone to go to a music club very often. Hence the mentioning of jazz music program in radio is not appearing to be convincing.

Finally, developers are reporting a nation-wide study that, the typical jazz fan spends close to $1,000 per year on jazz entertainment. As it is very obvious that this national trend may or may not hold true for the city of Monroe. Also, with the availability of music in the various forms of DVDs and CDs, online portals, live concerts, radio programs, etc., one cannot be sure that that considerable part of these thousand dollars is spent on music clubs.

Thus, with many loop holes in the logic, I am not totally convinced of the fact the proposed jazz music club in Monroe will be successful, if not tremendously successful.

reza56t 1 / 3  
Jul 8, 2013   #2
I think this is a pleasant essay and has beneficial points.But keep it in 300 worlds also conclusion paragraph is too short.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Jul 17, 2013   #3
the cost associated with the city of Monroe

The very first thing, the developers state is that there is no music club within the 65 km radius of Monroe city. This only cannot assure the profitability of the proposed music club, as we have to look into various aspects like the cost associated the city of Monroe, the entry fee that the club owners are going to structure etc.

... well... your argument as to measuring profitability is correct... profitability depends on the factors you have mentioned and no doubt about that. However, the developers cite this factor to show that it has a great potential market ;

Currently, the nearest jazz club is 65 miles away; thus, the proposed new jazz club in Monroe, the C-Note, would have the local market all to itself.

... this really does not talk about profitability direct, but talks about its business potential.


Home / Writing Feedback / Case of a Loan for a Jazz Music Club in Monroe City; GRE Argument essay
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳